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Author Topic:  [sparks] this is where I'll be, so heavenly [eros]  (Read 1560 times)

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Eros Maddox [ Inactive Character ]
115 Posts  •  23  •  Homosexual  •  played by LWINEAH
Re: [sparks] this is where I'll be, so heavenly [eros]
« Reply #15 on: February 02, 2017, 07:50:21 PM »
Eros watched as Alex emerged back from kitchen with two glasses in his hands. He silently took the one with water from Alex and downed it like a shot of alcohol. He then put it empty on table and gave a short smile to Alex as thanks. He couldn't help but yawn, stretching his arms above his head. His top happened to show off some of his toned abs, Eros didn't even notice it so didn't bother with putting the cloth back in place. He stared on the opposite wall, lost deep in thoughts. "It must feel nice you know," he spoke up after a while, "to have a family and all." He looked at Alex with a slightly saddened gaze, his fingers playing with his waist belt to occupy themselves. His mind was hazed and wanted to talk yet at the same time he was afraid to. He knew he shouldn't but he couldn't really think of the reason why suddenly. His frown only deepened as he tried to remember. As he tried to think of the reason why he should stay quiet.

There was none. So he opened his mouth and spoke up. "My mom," he was a bit hesitating and casted a drunken gaze at Alex first, before really continuing, "I don't know her." That was really smooth Eros, seriously real smooth, he told himself. "I don't even know how does she look like or what's her name. How does she smell or how her smile looks like." He kept watching this spot on the floor that looked so bloody lonely. Just as he was. "It's the same with my dad. I've never met them. All I know is that my mother signed up some bloody paper and gave me up to some family right after birth. I didn't really know they weren't my real family until my oh-so-perfect sister Jane made sure I know I had no place in their family. She hated me for taking her place, for he fact her own mother spent more time with me than her. She made sure to make my life living hell from then on. She was eleven at that time. And it was precisely because I was different. Because I wasn't a normal muggle I did the things to her. Like shove her out of swing without even touching her, when she didn't let me have it. She broke her leg and blamed the whole incident on me. That's how it always went you know. She and the accidents that always seemed to happen around me were the reason I ended up in the orphanage. For the first time that is." He snorted bitterly and looked at Alex again briefly.

The fact that he was sitting so far away from Eros was slowly driving him crazy. Why was he so far away from him? Was it because he finally felt fed up with him? No one ever before stayed around, not long enough to put up with him, when he started to be awful - his own self. He wouldn't be surprised, if Alex felt the same as others. He was already shocked by his earlier behavior and maybe was a bit hoping - he really wished that Alex would want to stay. Or was that all just an illusion? Was it why he suddenly felt so far away? Untouchable? It was almost like there was a solid big wall between himself and the younger man. He wanted to break it, make it fall down. He moved a bit closer, biting down on his lip, staring at the man. He wanted to move even closer but he didn't dare. He just silently watched the space between them, frowning at it. He wanted Alex to move closer to him. He wanted to have him close right now, but wanted him to do so himself. So Eros would know he wanted the closeness.

Which he probably didn't. Not that he blamed him.

But he couldn't focus on anything else, while doing nothing. So he decided to continue the talking. It was easier than destroying the wall between them. "I didn't stay at the orphanage for long the first time but I was even shorter time with the second family before they got rid of me." He shrugged. "I can't even remember them much, really. Just that they were real strict which is the reason I was out so soon." He wanted to drink something. It was a habit of his, when he didn't know how to continue. "I - went to the last one after year and -" He paused and nibbled on his lower lip. He could feel his own heartbeat rise up but this time it wasn't because of Alex. It was because all the bad memories came falling down on him after he locked them deep inside him. They were now surging into the light, hurting his broken heart over again.

His fingers were starting to shake.

Badly.

Alex Regan [ British Ministry ]
114 Posts  •  23  •  Homosexual  •  played by Emily
Re: [sparks] this is where I'll be, so heavenly [eros]
« Reply #16 on: February 11, 2017, 07:42:35 AM »
“Er… Yeah,” said Alex, caught off guard again by the mournful words. “I didn’t know…you didn’t.” He was hearing more about Eros tonight than he’d ever heard, than he suspected most people had ever heard. It frustrated him a little. Of everyone, it had to have been him, he thought ruefully. He had to have been there when this tortured drunk started cracking, and too nice to leave him there. He preferred to avoid this feeling, being confronted so directly with others’ misery, being forced to examine how privileged he had been—he was.

Burying his face in his glass as it just kept coming, Alex listened to Eros’s story. It stung his ears. And then the other man trailed off, leaving them in a heavy, suffocating silence.

Alex took a breath. “None of that matters anymore,” he said, measured and matter-of-fact, looking at Eros across the couch. “You’ve got a life, and a job—I mean—“ he had never asked what Eros actually did, but he had always gotten the impression he did okay for himself. “You won,” he said, more tenderly. He glanced down at his own knee, the metal underneath his trousers. Life had never really fought him until recently, but he decided that he would win.

As he looked back again, Eros was trembling, face contorted with hurt. Alex set down his wine on the coffee table after a selfish, hesitant moment. Sliding along the couch until their knees touched, he wrapped a hand around both of Eros’s shivering ones. “Calm down,” he muttered. “Calm down.”
s u c c e s s  i s  n e v e r  o w n e d ,  i t  i s  r e n t e d



a n d  t h e  r e n t  i s  d u e  e v e r y  d a y

Eros Maddox [ Inactive Character ]
115 Posts  •  23  •  Homosexual  •  played by LWINEAH
Re: [sparks] this is where I'll be, so heavenly [eros]
« Reply #17 on: February 16, 2017, 09:07:13 PM »
Eros was very deep in his own mind, drowned in memories that he suddenly was remembering, when Alex slid along the couch next to him. He flinched at the first contact of their knees, coming back to reality, and his head snapped to the side. His eyes were looking at Alex, wide, and filled with unexpected amount of fear. The look of horror was for a second carved in the two-colored orbs with such intensity, looking right through Alex. It was clear at that moment there still were bleeding wounds on his heart even though the ones on his body were long time gone. Maybe even deeper ones he ever got to taste from David.

The beast hunter snapped back, when he felt Alex's hand wrap around his own trembling. His heartbeat skyrocketed even more in that moment, from one simple reason. Alex himself. Eros suddenly noted that the younger man was here beside him, holding his hands, looking at him. It wasn't David, just Alex. Not just. In this moment he was very easily his saving grace. Someone who didn't let him slip inside the hell that his mind deep down was. However, it still wasn't okay. He took a deep breath, looking at the other. He knew he needed to say this, to get this off his chest. He couldn't hold it in anymore. "The last family," he started, "my step-father David came from prison later after I was adopted. He beaten me up for years almost every day. If no one came with the letter from Hogwarts I would've been there even now probably." He sighed, his hands still slightly shaking, even if it was already a bit better. He let his head fall on Alex's shoulder hesitantly, acting a bit shy. "Sorry to bother you with this." He said, feeling also small and vulnerable.

There was a long pause from his side after that, while he took in the other's closeness, relaxing slowly.

"I wanna go sleep." He then whispered softly.

Alex Regan [ British Ministry ]
114 Posts  •  23  •  Homosexual  •  played by Emily
Re: [sparks] this is where I'll be, so heavenly [eros]
« Reply #18 on: February 16, 2017, 09:38:34 PM »
"No,” he said, “it’s good to say—to somebody.” Squeezing Eros’s hands with both of his now, Alex tucked the other man’s head under his chin.

But he was lost now. He was reminded of the children of Hogwarts, trapped and afraid and looking up to him, and he’d never known what to do. He could take down a dark wizard but he was clumsy with emotions, real, meaningful ones. In his life he hadn’t had many of those. All he could do was his best, listen and try not to say anything stupid.

“If you want to sleep in my bed, you can,” said Alex gently. When he’d arrived home he’d had vague plans for himself and a certain object in his bedside drawer, but his noble streak wouldn’t stand for anything for the sort after seeing Eros this way. “Just for, you know, if you want someone there.” It would make him feel better too, though he had no intention of saying. The man was drunk and fragile and under his watch, Alex wanted to make sure nothing bad happened. One side of his bed was a small sacrifice for peace of mind.
s u c c e s s  i s  n e v e r  o w n e d ,  i t  i s  r e n t e d



a n d  t h e  r e n t  i s  d u e  e v e r y  d a y

Eros Maddox [ Inactive Character ]
115 Posts  •  23  •  Homosexual  •  played by LWINEAH
Re: [sparks] this is where I'll be, so heavenly [eros]
« Reply #19 on: February 17, 2017, 10:23:41 AM »
Eros closed his eyes contently as Alex placed his chin on his head. He couldn't help himself and snuggled into the other a bit, feeling immensely grateful towards him. His nose then grazed the younger male's skin on neck, shortly after that switching for his lips that were then placed on Alex's Adams apple. He kissed his way up to his jaw slowly, sucking on few places. "Thank you." He mumbled lowly. It were just two simple words but very sincere this time. His chest felt lighter after getting off the weight that was there for so many years. It was only a small part of him that believed that things could maybe get better, that he should stop drowning in his past and that he will stand up - but even the small part was a big step on his side. 

"And I'd love to share your bed." He breathed out with a chuckle. "But I have to warn you I tend to be clingy and cuddly." He teased, smiling drunkenly despite the fact his hands were still shaking slightly. "And I tend to get horny too." He then added some fuel to the already blazing fire.

Alex Regan [ British Ministry ]
114 Posts  •  23  •  Homosexual  •  played by Emily
Re: [sparks] this is where I'll be, so heavenly [eros]
« Reply #20 on: February 17, 2017, 11:13:22 AM »
He breathed out softly as Eros’s lips touched his neck. Everything got so muddled when he did that, the moral objections fighting all the months he’d been unkissed. There was no denying that the older man lived up to his name. He was breathtaking, heat smoldering under his skin, his touch making Alex fuzzy and weak. But he was vulnerable too. It didn’t feel right. Alex knew he shouldn’t let him kiss him like this, shouldn’t give him the wrong idea. Maybe some other time, hell, maybe in the morning. Not right now.

But he couldn’t find it in him to push the other man away. That didn’t feel right either, not when he seemed so desperate for contact, for connection. Alex wasn’t sure whether he’d crossed the line between being kind and leading Eros on. Probably had, if his companion’s words were anything to go by. Seeing him smile, however faintly, though, felt like a victory.

“Come on, then,” said Alex, reaching over to drain his wine glass, then rising and leading the way to the bedroom.

His bed was made, his room organized for the first time in weeks in preparation for a potential visitor tonight. But this wasn’t what he’d been planning for, it was silent, thick with tension. He wasn't sure he wanted to undress in front of Eros right now, uncomfortable with both the other man’s sexually charged remark and the thought of showing him his leg. Just choosing to take off his jacket and shoes, he folded back the covers.

Once Eros was settled he extinguished the lamp and slipped into the bed on the other side. He rolled over, finding the shape beside him in the dark. “Just go to sleep,” he mumbled, resting a soothing hand on what looked like Eros’s arm.
s u c c e s s  i s  n e v e r  o w n e d ,  i t  i s  r e n t e d



a n d  t h e  r e n t  i s  d u e  e v e r y  d a y

Eros Maddox [ Inactive Character ]
115 Posts  •  23  •  Homosexual  •  played by LWINEAH
Re: [sparks] this is where I'll be, so heavenly [eros]
« Reply #21 on: February 17, 2017, 11:49:25 AM »
Eros followed after Alex. He trailed closely behind him, very close, probably too close. He briefly looked around the bedroom, happily noting it was clean. He wouldn't sleep in a messy room, never in his life. If the room happened to be dirty then he would most likely first cleaned up and only then he would be able to fall asleep between the covers. But this was a nice surprise, so Eros took few steps away from Alex, taking off his top cloth since seeping dressed wasn't comfortable for him.

He opened his belt, then trousers and slipped out of them, staying only in his underwear. He looked at Alex briefly, confused by why he stayed in his clothes. Maybe he just wasn't comfortable being almost naked around him, he thought. Or he liked to sleep dressed. He kinda hoped it was the latter.

With a sigh he crawled then under the covers, laying comfortably down. He could feel how tired he was now. But he still watched Alex slip into the bed beside him and switch the light off. That made Eros gulp nervously. Darkness always leaved him only to his own mind and thoughts and that definitely wasn't healthy. So he considered his options for a moment.

In the end he decided to take the risk and half-rolled over, closer to Alex, slipping a hand around the other's waist and pulling him closer. He wouldn't say it aloud but he always slept better, while close to someone. It was the only time he could enjoy a dreamless sleep.

He kissed the other's cheek, neck or whatever it was since he couldn't see it, closing his eyes, slipping into the total darkness almost immediately.

Alex Regan [ British Ministry ]
114 Posts  •  23  •  Homosexual  •  played by Emily
Re: [sparks] this is where I'll be, so heavenly [eros]
« Reply #22 on: February 17, 2017, 12:34:22 PM »
He woke warm, nestled in arms and covers, rhythmic breath on the back of his neck. Shifting weakly, Alex turned to look over at the face beside him, half-buried in the pillow. Eros was still there, looking peaceful.

It was a relief. Part of him had expected the other man to sleep fitfully, tossing and turning and having haunted dreams, but he had remained still and solid at his back. Hopefully his presence had helped. Hopefully Eros would be seeing things in a different light this morning.

Alex looked at him for a little while, not wanting to rise and disturb him. Eros had been seriously plastered, he deserved to sleep in. Eventually, though, Alex started getting restless. As softly as he could, he slipped out from under Eros’s arm, the man curling unconsciously into the warm space he left.

He gathered fresh clothes to take to the bathroom with him and showered and dressed quietly. Normally he wouldn’t have bothered, but he felt filthy, covered in sweat and other men’s cologne from dancing. He combed his hair and brushed the bad taste from his mouth. And then there was nothing to do but wait for the man in his bed to wake.

As he waited he wondered, whether Eros would be less melancholy this morning, whether he could expect all that trauma to just retreat back under the surface where it had been so long. How long Eros would need him. He walked around his front room, sat in different chairs and drank a glass of water, but Impatience was getting the best of him, he had to know. So he opened the door of the bedroom again. Sitting gingerly on the edge of the bed, he placed a hand on Eros’s bare back.

“Hey,” he said. “Wake up.”
s u c c e s s  i s  n e v e r  o w n e d ,  i t  i s  r e n t e d



a n d  t h e  r e n t  i s  d u e  e v e r y  d a y

Eros Maddox [ Inactive Character ]
115 Posts  •  23  •  Homosexual  •  played by LWINEAH
Re: [sparks] this is where I'll be, so heavenly [eros]
« Reply #23 on: February 20, 2017, 09:57:19 AM »
Eros woke up around the time Alex was still in the bathroom. He didn't get up though, just laid there, thinking. His head hurt like hell from the amount of alcohol he had but he remembered everything what had happened the other night. He always remembered no matter how much drinks he had. Sometimes it was a curse. Sometimes it was better to forget. Not this time though, right now he was really glad for knowing every detail of the past evening. He wasn't really sure how he felt about it. Maybe he was a bit ashamed how he acted, he was like a baby and so clingy. Fuck. He loved to be affectionate, he did, but not this way. He kinda felt bad for throwing all of his problems at Alex's head, for spilling them in the first place. He shouldn't have done that. He should have been just cold or flirtatious like always, wearing his everyday mask of everything being okay. He could have had Alex for the night, enjoy a time with him, make the other feel good instead of throwing his intimate life, the disaster it was, at him.

But there was no going back. What was done was done and now he had to work with it. He supposed acting cold wasn't really an option, moreover, he was totally tired of it. He would just act as Eros. The real Eros. Without a fake makeup plastered on his face.

He heard the door open but didn't move yet. Alex steps got closer to him, then the bed dipped down as the younger man sat down. His hand touched Eros' bare back as he spoke up. The beast hunter then took a deep breath, rolling around and gazing with his two-colored eyes at the other. There wasn't the broken expression on his face anymore, no. That was hidden back inside. On the other side, his face wasn't cold either. There was warm in his eyes upon looking at Alex. Eros swung his arm around the other's waist, pulling himself up to sit. "Morning," he said quietly, hesitating a bit since he wasn't really sure, what to do. He didn't really wanted to mention the evening but it was the right thing to do probably. "Thanks for yesterday." He said, leaning a bit closer into Alex's personal space. "And also sorry, I feel a bit bad for spilling that all on you." He confessed. "I could do something for you in exchange if you want." He added.

Alex Regan [ British Ministry ]
114 Posts  •  23  •  Homosexual  •  played by Emily
Re: [sparks] this is where I'll be, so heavenly [eros]
« Reply #24 on: February 21, 2017, 07:39:36 AM »
Eros slid a hand around Alex’s waist, bringing him upright and close. He looked much better this morning, but there was really no telling how he was really feeling. If he’d kept all that hurt bottled up for so long then surely he’d gotten good at putting on a calm face. Alex looked away modestly as Eros thanked him, but then the man leaned closer and continued.

He hesitated. The amorous subtext tempted him, the body so close to his. If Eros Maddox was anything he was sexy, and Alex was a starving man looking upon a feast. But that particular turn of phrase, the talk of exchange, put him off. Alex didn’t care for sex out of obligation, or anything but sheer attraction to him. Some sorts of power were better than others.

“I—there’s no need,” he said, shaking his head before meeting the other man’s gaze. “I don’t want you to feel as if you owe me for listening. It was just—the right thing to do.”

He couldn’t stop himself wanting Eros out of his house then, out of his bed, taking all these jumbled, uncomfortable feelings with him. Some people were just trouble. There were parts of him that wanted to help, needed to help. But other parts were selfish and callous, only cared about keeping things easy for himself.

Those thoughts could flood him sometimes but the noble parts always won. “Do you need anything?” he asked. “Of course—don’t feel as if you have to stay.”
s u c c e s s  i s  n e v e r  o w n e d ,  i t  i s  r e n t e d



a n d  t h e  r e n t  i s  d u e  e v e r y  d a y

Eros Maddox [ Inactive Character ]
115 Posts  •  23  •  Homosexual  •  played by LWINEAH
Re: [sparks] this is where I'll be, so heavenly [eros]
« Reply #25 on: February 21, 2017, 08:54:34 AM »
Eros couldn't really help but groan, letting his head fall on Alex's shoulder. He was feeling so frustrated right now, maybe a bit starved as well. Not for food though. The desire he had from the last night still didn't change which was one of the things the beast hunter could feel almost immediately as the younger male appeared in his presence. Damn. He sighed as he took in the other's answer. It seemed like he has been once again declined, wasn't he? He already tried drunk, being more daring than he usually would but Alex didn't act on it. He didn't really shove him away to give him clear message of 'no', he let him kiss his jaw, let him run his hand up his thigh but didn't act on it any further. That was a bit confusing for Eros. He wasn't really used to getting mixed signals. The fact he still felt a bit nervous and embarrassed, grateful and thousands of other emotions didn't help at all. He didn't have his usual confidence as well. Only his sharp and honest mouth.

"You know, I'm slowly nearing the end of my ideas on how to get you in bed." He confessed. "You keep blowing it up, man. I'm not really good at seducing." He chuckled, looking at Alex. "I think I'm at loss of my words, especially sober now." He said, staring at the younger man then for a while before he spoke up again. "If you don't want me then just say no, I don't want to make even bigger fool of myself than I already did the other night being so bloody clingy." He explained, watching Alex's face with a question in his eyes. "And no I don't need anything from you if you don't want anything from me." He added right after that.
« Last Edit: February 21, 2017, 08:55:26 AM by Lwineah »

Alex Regan [ British Ministry ]
114 Posts  •  23  •  Homosexual  •  played by Emily
Re: [sparks] this is where I'll be, so heavenly [eros]
« Reply #26 on: February 21, 2017, 09:22:57 AM »
Guilt overcame Alex as Eros’s head fell to his shoulder with a frustrated moan. What was holding him back? It wouldn’t be hard to just give the man what he wanted, take what he himself wanted as well. Or—did he want it? Was he too nervous, too protective of his changed body and his changed soul? Not wanting to take advantage of Eros had been a good excuse. But in the light of morning he had nothing.

"I'm sorry," said Alex, “you don’t need this. I’m just—I don’t know what’s going on with me right now.” He looked down at his lap, the hand at his waist. “I should’ve just said I didn’t want—shouldn’t have let you…” Glancing back up to find Eros still looking at him, he swallowed nervously.

“Oh,” he muttered, “for fuck’s—“

He kissed Eros firmly, clutching his face in both hands. The feel of him ignited in Alex a feverish fire, flames swelling and licking his insides as he deepened the kiss. He was being more forceful than usual, more overt, less coy. But he needed this. He hadn’t realized quite how much until he’d begun.

"I'm sorry," he said again as his lips moved from jaw to neck, fingers to grip the small of Eros’s back and pull him into his lap. “Doesn’t matter anymore.”
s u c c e s s  i s  n e v e r  o w n e d ,  i t  i s  r e n t e d



a n d  t h e  r e n t  i s  d u e  e v e r y  d a y

Eros Maddox [ Inactive Character ]
115 Posts  •  23  •  Homosexual  •  played by LWINEAH
Re: [sparks] this is where I'll be, so heavenly [eros]
« Reply #27 on: February 23, 2017, 02:35:42 PM »
Eros couldn't help but think back in time, remember the day when Alex showed up in the empty classroom where he was practicing, unsure about himself. Remember the night, how the younger man seemed nervous. He seemed nervous even now around him. Simply quite often. Eros didn't know the reason. Why did he have this kind of impact on the other? Why did Alex got all fidgety or confused or unsure around him?

He couldn't help but feel slightly bad for being so persistent, when the other acted so insecure and fidgety. Trying to seduce the other, take him, when he probably didn't even want to. Moreover, it seemed he wasn't the only one with some kind of issues about himself based on Alex's words. There definitely was a reason about his hesitating, confused answers. Eros only hoped the source of this problem wasn't him. Maybe he should have just ignored his want and leave, would that be better? Would that make Alex more comfortable?

He looked at Alex, words on his tongue, wanting to be pronounced but they didn't have a chance to leave his mouth. There were first hands on his face, then lips pressed against his, hungry and daring. Anything Eros wanted to say in that moment completely slipped out of his mind as he subconsciously pressed closer to the other. He wasn't going to ask why, if he was sure or what kind of problem was lingering inside his head. It wasn't his place to pry.

The feel of Alex's kiss made his desire and hunger emerge fully. A wave of lust, pure want, washed over him strongly. He closed his eyes as the other's lips moved lower, to his jaw, and mummbled breathlessly 'don't apologize', when Alex spoke up. He then moved into the younger male's lap eagerly and kissed him again. He was curious, wanted to find out how much the other learned through the years, how much did he change and if he could still mess him up the way he did that one time before.

But first he needed to get those clothes off.

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