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Author Topic:  Flames so hot that they turn blue [Aniel]  (Read 551 times)

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Kanat Zhanalin [ Inactive Character ]
899 Posts  •  Nineteen  •  Asexual, but panromantic  •  played by Dylan
Flames so hot that they turn blue [Aniel]
« on: May 20, 2017, 02:07:45 AM »
He had been to the door of her house four times in the past month alone. It was the same every time. He would hesitate at Ilverness and talk to Serik about her, again. Serik told him to face his fears. Charged, he would take a portkey all the way to Suwałki, Poland, and find his way to her house using the address from letters he had sent her while they were still in school. The Kowalczyk manor was large and intimidating, set on too much land and looking too white against the summer sun. He felt small walking up to the door, small and scared. For a moment, it didn't matter to him. All that mattered was getting to see her just one more time, once more before the end.

Their last meeting hadn't exactly gone well. In fact, Kanat had been yellow then, too. That had been his problem. He had avoided her for a few months, over something he sent or said or...something. He didn't remember anymore. This time, it had been a year. It had been a full year without contact, after he apologized to her specifically so they'd be able to talk again. He didn't know what to say or do around her anymore. He hoped that time would erase his curiosity about her, his desire to know her, and the strange twinge in his chest when he thought about her. That was still there, though. It still hurt to imagine and he still felt drawn to her memory.

He remembered the way she kissed him. It was soft and gentle, a scientist's curiosity. He would never forget it. It was the first kiss in his life that he ever felt, and still his only. He wondered if it was her first and only, too. He thought that it probably was. Neither of them were moved much by physical temptations, at least they hadn't been. For all he knew, Aniel could be a new person now. She was a beautiful ever-evolving creature, and always had been. Change was likely inevitable. Had she changes so much that she would be an entirely new person to Kanat? He considered this and wondered if it would be bad or horribly exciting.

He had changed a lot since the last time they met. He no-longer looked like that put together young boy. He had got used to being free, being casual. His hair had grown long and he had hair on his face now. He was a man who went where the job took him. He ate meals where he could get them and slept where there was shelter. He looked a bit like it. He remembered the days of his meticulous grooming fondly. He had been a child, then. He was a man now, and realized how little material things really mattered.

When it came to the kiss, however, he remembered the way he reacted, too. Less than ideal. He turned into a puddle at her feet, a literal puddle of water. He morphed. Why had he morphed? He had been meaning to tell Aniel about being an elemental, but he wanted to do it in a serious manner. He wanted to let her ask questions. He wanted to show her what he could do. If he morphed, maybe he'd morph with her.... not just morph in front of her and then forget his clothing when he morphed back. He had to walk back to his house in the nude, with nothing but an over-sized set of outer robes to keep him decent. She had seen that. He had been too embarrassed to continue. A year worth of embarrassment, apparently.

It wasn't really that. It was just that the longer he went without talking, the harder it became to initiate conversation. He wasn't sure what she was up to or what she would be doing. He worried about what to say, if he should say anything. He worried what to do. So, he did the same thing every time. He came all the way to Poland, stood in front of that large, white, imposing door....

...and he fled. Every time, he fled. Would this be the time he actually knocked? Would she even live there anymore? What if she didn't? He shook his head and took in a deep breath. Coming to visit a friend was only this nerve-wracking when you had a tendency to overthink everything you did. Kanat had that tendency.

He looked up at the door again. Four times he had come here, and four times he'd left. Would he do it this time? He hesitated, when suddenly the door opened. Out stepped a young boy, probably fifteen. He looked vaguely familiar from his Durmstrang days. A Drakonya Krov. Aniel's younger brother, Szymon. “Are you ever gonna knock?” He asked, and Kanat flushed crimson. It looked like fate had intervened here. He coughed, trying to find his voice.

“Ahh, yes. Um.” He was usually far more eloquent than this. “Is.... Aniel here?”

Szymon chuckled, and Kanat felt a little bit like dying. “Yeah, actually. She's visiting. Come on in....” He motioned towards the inside of the home, and Kanat shuffled in behind him, nervous and heart racing. He fumbled with the cap of the water bottle he kept in his shoulder bag and took a few sips. His mouth was dry and tacky and he was sweating nervously. He needed to control this. He was better than this, stronger. How could one girl change everything about him so completely?

“She's in her room, I think.” Szymon continued. He called out for her. “Aniel! You've got a visitor.”

« Last Edit: May 20, 2017, 02:08:47 AM by Dylan »
S o  i f  I  d e c i d e  t o  w a i v e r  m y  c h a n c e   t o  b e  o n e  o f  t h e  h i v e ,

w i l l  I  c h o o s e  w a t e r  o v e r  w i n e ,  a n d  h o l d  m y  o w n  a n d  d r i v e ?

Aniel Kowalczykówna [ Inactive Character ]
912 Posts  •  Eighteen  •  Asexual  •  played by Sioban
Re: Flames so hot that they turn blue [Aniel]
« Reply #1 on: May 23, 2017, 06:56:06 PM »
Her room was still the same.

A slim, petite girl stood in the middle of her small but homely attic bedroom. She hadn't gotten the short end of the straw when bedrooms had been doled out, she'd asked for it. The walls were black but nobody would be able to tell as a number of stuffed bookcases were covering it. Over the years, Aniel had amassed a number of curiosities; taxidermy, maps, books and knives, the average teenager girl's starter pack, basically. There were framed artworks, glass paperweights, quills and ink and despite all of this, it wasn't dimly lit. There was a skylight right above her bed.

Her flat in Italy was nothing like this. The walls were cream and still devoid of personality. Aniel had always been adaptable but the weather was getting a bit too much to handle. She'd had to buy an entire new wardrobe. It was very much a case of the blind leading the blind at that point. Neroli was damned near impossible to wear her thick, drab cardigans and if Emilia could see her now, she'd pitch a fit.

Her shock of platinum blonde was tied back into a neat ponytail, a sweeping fringe falling across her forehead and obscuring a large brightly blue eye from view as she picked her way across her vast personal library. It had been months since she'd been home and she wasn't sure that she missed it. Homesickness was purely psychological. A brain, her brain in particular, could be re directed and overridden. She might lack social skills but as a child, she was never mollycoddled in a way that made leaving home difficult.

Her slim pale fingers selected a book and tucked it underneath her arm. When she'd moved to Italy to study, Aniel had left most of her belongings at home. Why? Because she had trouble forming personal attachments to things. She wasn't materialistic, unlike her older sister. The fact that they'd sprung from the same womb often made other people's brains boggle. Aniel's main goal in life was to learn and she was glad Emilia wasn't home as she'd had quite enough of her lazy jibes. You won't find a boyfriend with your head in a book, Annie she usually said as she was applying thick make up on with a trowel. Aniel had replied that she wouldn't be able to keep a boyfriend once he figured out what she looked like underneath all that stuff on her face. At which point, her sister would run screaming for her mother like the overgrown baby that she was.

Aniel wasn't planning on staying too long. Her parents had errands to run and if she was going to be honest, she hadn't missed the hassle of being around her younger siblings. On her tippy-toes, she reached up to collect one more book when her bother's voice echoed up the stairs.

A visitor? Her unusually plump lips down turned into a frown, wondering if it was another of his decidedly unfunny jokes he liked to play from time to time. Heaving a sigh, she dropped back to her height, rolling on the heels of her feet. She exited her bedroom, her knee length mustard yellow skirt swishing as it went. "Must you keep bothering me?" Aniel mumbled as she descended the stairs delicately, getting halfway down before she froze solid as though she'd seen a ghost and in a way, she had.

Her unusually pretty face showed signs of surprise that she didn't bother to mask as she very rarely took up social cues. "Oh," she said softly before she frowned. It wasn't that she was displeased to see Kanat. It was more like she hadn't seen him for so long, she imagined that they were no longer friends. Months had passed without contact and she wasn't sure why. She assumed that he might have been embarrassed, by the kiss and then the whole nudity thing but then to cut her out of his life so callously when she'd done nothing to provoke it tasted bitter.

Aniel had completely forgotten that her brother was present. Her large eyes were focused directly on Kanat, the corners of her lips tugging down once more as her forehead creased. She didn't mention the beard or his hair. His appearance was not a concern to her and on the flipside, she'd changed her style, too. She was both hurt and disappointment after his refusal to speak to her after the incident. He avoided her for most of the school year, leaving her completely alone as he'd really been her only friend. Hurt and disappointment had shifted to mild annoyance then to acceptance and then to confusion. If there was one thing Aniel detested, it was unanswered questions. He was ruining her hypothesis.

It boiled down to the fact that she didn't know how she felt about him and feelings were not something she tended to notice or partake in. He didn't quite fit into the carefully organised boxes in her mind. He wasn't quite a friend, not quite a romantic endeavour. She tilted her head, still not drawing any closer to him. "Thank you, Szymon," she said softly, her eyes still locked on Kanat as she excused her little brother. "Hello," she said gently.

i love the quiet of the night time when the sun is drowning in a deathly sea
i can feel my heart beating as i speed from the sense of time catching up with me.

Kanat Zhanalin [ Inactive Character ]
899 Posts  •  Nineteen  •  Asexual, but panromantic  •  played by Dylan
Re: Flames so hot that they turn blue [Aniel]
« Reply #2 on: July 26, 2017, 05:00:19 PM »
The look of shock and awe said it all. Aniel didn't look pleased to see him in the slightest, which wasn't really unexpected. After all, it had been a full year now. Even so, he hadn't expected to see the shock so plainly on her pretty face. Then, a frown adorned her features. He felt it in his gut, deep and piercing. He could feel her displeasure from where he was standing, and it made him want to turn and run, but he couldn't keep running. All the paths led back here, inevitably. He needed to stand up to his own insecurity and look at her, really look. This was supposed to be a last hurrah of sorts, this was supposed to bring closure. Closure, or a new beginning. He didn't dare hope for the latter but it lingered over his mind like a dark and pregnant cloud, haunting him. The hope of it all, causing  dread that didn't fit its nature. Hope was supposed to be promising, not foreboding.

He didn't really think she was angry with him, though, despite the look on her face, despite everything. She didn't seem to hold a grudge for long, and he hadn't proven himself to be a fastidious friend by any means. He always let her down, whether it was the time he took her as his date to another country then left her alone all night, or the time he told her, in less certain terms, that he loved her and then avoided her for a few months. He was never there when she needed him, never there long enough for there to be any expectations of him. No, she was displeased for some other reason, but what it was he wasn't sure. She clearly hadn't forgotten him, the look of surprise showed a clear recognization of him, but he supposed that he could always just ask instead of staying inside his head.

His mouth was dry and tacky again, but he didn't dare lift his water bottle to his lips or dare take his eyes of of her for a moment. He hadn't planned past entering the front door. He had no idea what to expect from her, from this conversation, from anything. He  bit his lip and raised his eyes to meet her eyes. “Hello, Aniel.” He greeted, after a long pause. He cleared his throat. There was so much to say, but he wasn't sure where to begin. For starters, he had never fully explained being an elemental to her. She deserved to know about that. She deserved and explanation for him playing the disappearing act again, too, and he didn't really have a explanation for that. He thought he might as well just start with pleasantries.

“You look nice. Different than before.” He began, then backtracked. “Not that you didn't always look nice.” Beat. “Or that how you look really matters. I'm sorry, sorry. Let me start again.” He tried to look away but he physically couldn't. He couldn't move either. He was rooted to the spot. “You look like you've been doing well. Have you been doing well? It's been a long time.”
S o  i f  I  d e c i d e  t o  w a i v e r  m y  c h a n c e   t o  b e  o n e  o f  t h e  h i v e ,

w i l l  I  c h o o s e  w a t e r  o v e r  w i n e ,  a n d  h o l d  m y  o w n  a n d  d r i v e ?

Aniel Kowalczykówna [ Inactive Character ]
912 Posts  •  Eighteen  •  Asexual  •  played by Sioban
Re: Flames so hot that they turn blue [Aniel]
« Reply #3 on: March 03, 2018, 06:12:57 PM »
Her overly big pale grey eyes flicked over his face. He looked different too, she noted. His hair was longer and he looked a smidge paler than she remembered him. Aniel wasn't going to lie to him and say that she thought about him often because she didn't. She had work and her studies and her new flat, she didn't make room in her life to miss someone.

Aniel suddenly realised that she hadn't written to Kanat to tell him about her recent relocation and the thought made her shift uncomfortably. It felt a little like guilt or regret but she couldn't discern the difference between the two emotions; they'd always been intrinsically tied.

She didn't mention his compliment, she simply nodded, a lock of her platinum hair curling against the curve of her broad shoulder. She did look different and the reason was that Emilia was having trouble finding a suitable husband. Aniel wasn't really surprised. She was squeaky and vapid and self-centred and downright stupid. Thus, she'd decided to get rid of most of Aniel's clothes and replace them with her own ideas, to stave off boredom. The potioneer didn't know what the word "trendy" meant but this didn't feel like her at all.

Aniel tilted her head as she leaned against the front door, her eyes wide and guarded. "I've been fine," she answered Kanat truthfully. There was a huge question mark hanging over Kanat's head as he stood in front of her. He was a loose end and Aniel hated it. Once upon a time, she thought they'd been kindred spirits, despite not believing in them. He'd been the only person in her life, apart from her older brother, that didn't try to change her. But then he had to go and do that.

She'd experienced a lot of new things with Kanat towards the end of last year. She'd initiated her first kiss, then he melted, literally. He'd made her feel angry, sad, frustrated, confused, bewildered. He'd also made her feel happy, safe, warm, accepted. She didn't know why he'd left so suddenly. He hadn't done anything wrong and Aniel didn't understand his embarrassment, which left them at an impasse. Since he'd left, she'd been touched by the heavy weight of downheartedness.

"It has," she found herself agreeing, also realising that small talk didn't come that naturally. It had been over a year but it wasn't the first time that he'd ditched her without explanation. Aniel wanted him to explain, in no uncertain terms, what his problems with her were. As far as she was concerned, she hadn't done anything wrong. The people she kept around her were the people that she could categorise. Her parents were simple, her sister ordinary, her brother adored her, her younger was a maniac. She assigned nicknames. Emilia was "princess", Szymon was "hellion" and Cezary was "caliginous".  Kanat had remained stubbornly Kanat in her mind.

Aniel loitered by the front door, torn between letting him in and just continuing on with packing up her stuff. "Come in," she told her friend swiftly. His anxiety was catching, she could feel it radiating off of him in waves. Turning on her heel and ignoring her little brother, she climbed the first set of stairs and then the more rickety set that lead to her attic.

Books were the focal point. There was an open packing box on her bed, half filled with her most prized possessions. Usually, Cezary sent her books but apparently, his marriage was in decline. No one had come out and told her but she'd heard the whispers. Aniel didn't like his wife. She was too light, too keen to make them friends. She hadn't heard from her brother in months and the pain felt similar to losing contact with Kanat. It came in waves, hitting her deep in the night. Pain mixed with anger and questions that she wasn't equipped to answer. She didn't like feeling. She didn't want to grow as a person.

"And yourself?" Aniel found herself asking Kanat. A year had been a long time to pass. But why now? The question bounced around her head. She hadn't been home in months and he turned up, on the day she was? She turned and looked at him once more, a book clutched tightly to her chest as her ever present frown made another reappearance. "What's going on?"

i love the quiet of the night time when the sun is drowning in a deathly sea
i can feel my heart beating as i speed from the sense of time catching up with me.


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