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Author Topic:  [Moscow - Nov 2001] Metalmen Matryoshka (Vera)  (Read 653 times)

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Alla Chaikovskaya [ Durmstrang Adult ]
2000 Posts  •  21  •  played by Inga
[Moscow - Nov 2001] Metalmen Matryoshka (Vera)
« on: December 16, 2017, 09:30:29 PM »
Why had she agreed to do this?

Alla looked at her reflection in the mirror. Even after she had used more make up than usual she still looked like death warmed up. What was even worse, the girl did not feel any better than she looked. However, when her father had owled her, asking if she could do him a favour she had felt unable to say no. Had she told him that she had no time or did not feel up to the task he had come up with he would have enquired further. She felt quite certain that either her father or her mother would have shown up at her doorstep had her answer been anything but yes.

The black long sleeved dress which was actually slim fit hang loosely now, looking like she had got it from an older sister or something along the lines of that. Until now Alla had not even been aware that she had lost weight. Self-consciously she pulled on the left sleeve of the dress so it hid the bandage she kept on her wrist. Somehow lately the cuts she made on herself did not heal properly anymore. She could perform healing spells and yet there were at least scars left, sometimes even wounds that started bleeding if she happened to prod at them. Not wanting to attract unwanted attention, Alla had decided that wearing a bandage that she could conceal with a long sleeve was her safest bet.

There was a party tonight; a party of the Moscow Metalmen. Her father apparently thought that Alla would be the right one to approach the team officials to let them sign a sponsoring contract. Why he thought so was beyond Alla's understanding. The girl assumed that her dad thought that a young blond girl who had even played Quidditch during her time at school would rather be able to convince the officials but she doubted it. In fact, she was afraid she could not secure this deal for the family business. What would her father say if she failed? He would probably think that she had not really tried hard enough. The necromancer bit her lips nervously. She really did not feel up to the task. If she could only bring Burmin to support her... However, her father had made quite clear that she was not to shop up with a skeleton at this party.

Maybe it was foolish, maybe it was an idea bound to backfire but Alla had nicked a corpse from the morgue of the funeral parlour - a pretty young wizard's body - and put him into dress robes. She had animated him to at least lead her into the hall where the party was going to take place. The Klyk Vampira graduate just didn't feel like turning up there alone despite the fact that she actually needed all her energy to keep going herself. She apparated to the location holding hands with the animated corpse. Once they had arrived the girl felt shaky and sickly. However, there was no time to think about that now. She looked at her companion skeptically now. He looked handsome and her animation had really worked well. The only thing that gave away that he was not really alive was his empty stare. She could not do anything about this now though.

They entered the hall and Alla made him take her coat. After he brought their coats to the cloakroom she made him sit down at the bar and walked through the hall on her high heels, looking for the people she had to talk to. Her attempt at a bright smile was maybe not as successful as it should have been but she still managed to steer up a conversation with one of the officials of the team, handing him a leaflet and talking about her father's idea to create magical matryoshki with the faces of the current team members of the Moscow Metalmen and selling those at her father's shop. The man seemed interested enough but did not want to make a decision right away. He told her to get a drink and talk later after he had had the chance to discuss this with other team officials.

Alla wasn't sure what to think of this. Not everything was lost yet but she would have preferred a clear answer now so she could just get home. Having to wait until the party would end was a prospect the Muscovite did not find intriguing at all. However, she went to the bar and ordered a vodka for herself. As she waited for her drink, the girl took a seat on a bar stool next to the animated corpse and rubbed her forehead which was beginning to ache like it often did these days when she was overexerting herself with necromantic experiments.

@Veronika Petrova

« Last Edit: December 16, 2017, 09:33:29 PM by Inga »

Veronika Petrova [ Guest ]
Re: [Moscow - Nov 2001] Metalmen Matryoshka (Vera)
« Reply #1 on: December 23, 2017, 10:13:08 AM »
There were several issues Veronika had with such parties. Firstly, the parties were organised for sponsors mostly, and not for the Moscow Metalmen specifically, therefore she really found it irritating that she, along with her fellow team mates, had to go and simply entertain others when it would be correct for them to be the centre of everyone’s attention. Secondly, the fact that her manager had taken over her closet completely, treating her like a doll which needs a completely new look every single time there was such an event, always made her uncomfortable beyond imagination. This time round, her manager had gone completely overboard in her opinion, having picked out for her a dark grey silk dress, which was a bit too revealing both in the front, and the back. Not to mention, the heels which matched the dress were ridiculously high. Furthermore, there was also the make-up, which Veronika truly despised. At least the jewellery designed mostly of black pearls were suitable to her tastes; but only those and literally nothing else. Truthfully, she admitted that every time that her manager imposed a certain look on her she did look nice and quite pretty, however the quidditch player knew it just wasn’t herself.

Thirdly, and by far the most irritating element of each party of this kind, was that every possible sponsor out there called her ‘Vera’, without even asking for her permission beforehand. Naturally, if asked, she would have agreed since it was an unspoken rule that the team wasn’t allowed to openly contradict the sponsors and just leave such matters to their managers and the coach, but everyone openly calling her by such an intimate nickname was absolutely repulsing and it always made Veronika feel so uncomfortable that she ended up being more quiet and even more unsociable and difficult to talk to (if possible) than normal. ‘Petrova’ would have been sufficient and much better.

The party itself wasn’t that bad; as all parties organised under the Moscow Metalmen’s name, the atmosphere was classy, luxurious and exuberant, more than living up to Muscovite elites’ standards. With her manager sticking closely by her side and making her go to greet every sponsor of the team, Veronika has had the chance to see the ballroom from every possible angle, and she had to admit, it was beautifully arranged. Having ended the greetings and managing to escape from her manager’s tight grasp, Vera, along with a team mate, made their way to the bar, to get something to drink. Both of them had done their rounds, so now they desperately felt the need to ‘hydrate’.

Reaching the bar, Veronika let her team mate order one bottle of vodka and two glasses. She took three shots instantly, which were mandatory for the official start of the fun part of the night. Her team mate soon left, as they had to go meet an acquaintance they saw. Now alone at the bar, Vera glanced around, to see if there were any familiar figures nearby. She was planning on sticking close to someone she categorised as ‘safe’, because, should her manager find her again, the former Klyk Vampira could simply point out that she couldn’t just leave and come off as rude, claiming her reputation would be ruined. Her technique didn’t always work well, as it depended on who she found and stuck to. For example, Vera had learned that her older brother didn't count as an important figure which deserved her presence non-stop.

Her glance stopped on a rather familiar figure; a young woman, with quite large, blue eyes, and beautiful blonde hair. Veronika herself didn’t find blonde hair appealing, however, in that girl’s case, it suited her. And then, it hit her; upon seeing the young witch’s face better, the quidditch player instantly recognised the freshness and youthful features, which made the other woman look younger than she already was. It was Chaikovskaya, a former Klyk Vampira herself. While Veronika and her hadn’t been particularly close due to their age difference (and the fact that Vera herself rarely socialised outside her already established circle of friends and year mates), they had talked before and, of course, the other girl had a reputation possibly everyone who attended Durmstrang at the same time as her heard of at one point or another.

Veronika took another shot, before getting up and moving two seats ahead, to occupy the place next to her former house mate. “Alla Artyomovna!” She said, on a genuine cheerful tone, gently placing her hand on the girl’s shoulder for one quick moment, just enough to catch her attention. “It is such a surprise to see you here. Veronika Nikolaiovna.” Vera specified her name as she toyed with her long, black pearls necklace, just in case Alla didn’t remember it. Noticing a male figure next to the girl, the quidditch captain inquired, as from that angle, she couldn’t see well the face or traits of the man, but it just enough to notice their presence. “Is that your date for the night?”

Alla Chaikovskaya [ Durmstrang Adult ]
2000 Posts  •  21  •  played by Inga
Re: [Moscow - Nov 2001] Metalmen Matryoshka (Vera)
« Reply #2 on: December 26, 2017, 08:52:58 PM »
The first thought when she heard her name was that she did not want a conversation now. She felt tired, her headache was getting worse with every minute that she had to focus on keeping the corpse animated and she was beginning to feel sick. The glass of vodka she had ordered was standing right in front of her, still untouched. She knew it would not help. It was likely to make things worse and yet she had felt like it was the only thing she could order without feeling completely sick after the first sip.

As Alla looked at the young woman who addressed her she immediately recognised her. By her voice she would not have been able to tell who had approached her but looking at her, the necromancer at once recognised Veronika. She remembered her quite well from school, after all, Vera had been an extraordinary gifted Quidditch player already then. It did not surprise Alla to see her now either. Naturally the Muscovite knew the line up of the Moscow Metalmen and was quite aware that Veronika Nikolaievna was a part of the team.

"Veronika Nikolaievna," she said automatically in response. Her voice giving away that she was quite tired. Realising how she was sounding, the girl straightened her back and offered a warm smile before she continued in a forced more cheerful tone. "What a pleasure to see you. You look really stunning tonight. That dress is..." Alla didn't really know how to call it. The dress was like it came straight from a catwalk. it was way too revealing for her to ever consider wearing anything of the likes. "It's amazing. I thought you might be too busy to actually talk to people who are not..." she paused again, trying to find the right word but going for a not so perfect choice in the end, "important."

Subconsciously she rubbed her forehead, hoping the headache would go away and allow her to have a proper conversation. As it was she struggled to focus enough to find the right words to fit into sentences she already started. However, she did not only have to control herself but also her 'date'. Speaking of whom - Veronika seemed to just have noticed him. Alla wasn't sure if she wanted her former house mate to be aware of who he really was or if she should keep pretending that he was a proper date. She had not really thought about that in advance and now her headache seemed to be preventing her from seeing things clear. Noticing that the sleeve of her dress had slipped a little, allowing an observant person to take a glimpse of her bandage, Alla quickly tore on it so it almost hid half of her hand.

"Yes, sort of," she said, smiling weakly. "May I introduce him to you?!" Having voiced this more or less rhetorical question, Alla made the corpse get to his feet and step around Alla so he stood between the girls. "This is Andrey Pavlovich," the girl paused, not knowing what else to say about the recently deceased young man. He was a young wizard from Moscow but frankly, Alla had not taken the time to do a proper research. She knew nothing about the man other than that he was an exceptionally well built and pretty guy.

Even though she knew that it would only exhaust her further, the girl made the corpse bow, take Veronika's hand and lift it almost to his lips to simulate a kiss on the hand. "He does not really talk much..." Alla said in defence of the taciturn corpse. "He can dance quite well though."

Veronika Petrova [ Guest ]
Re: [Moscow - Nov 2001] Metalmen Matryoshka (Vera)
« Reply #3 on: December 29, 2017, 09:51:56 AM »
Upon hearing Alla’s tone, Veronika couldn’t help herself but feel a bit bad for her former house mate. These kind of parties were absolutely exhausting, and while she herself always tried to mask her fatigue, it seemed that not all could. Or, perhaps, better put, Alla herself could afford a luxury the quidditch player could not: actually revealing her weariness without being forced by circumstances to hide such feelings. Truthfully, she felt a bit jealous of the younger witch’s freedom, however, Veronika didn’t regret her choice of becoming a person of interest. As much as she disliked the attention, she loved it all at the same time. It was a complex feeling, but something which definitely did not bring the sentiment of regret.

As Alla commented on her dress, Veronika found herself embarrassed, and placed both hands on her cheeks, trying to cover the slight blush she was sure that took over her face. “It’s ridiculous.” She commented, looking the other girl directly in the eye. “You can say it, I know it is.” Vera took a deep breath, as she straightened her back and raised her right hand, making a sign towards the bartender, in which she asked for another bottle of vodka. “But you do look very nice tonight, I’m glad to see you outside of the uniform.” The quidditch player winked playfully, raising her eyebrow at the bartender, who seemed to take a lot of time picking out that bottle she ordered.

It pleased her to see that Alla had a successful romantic life, successful enough that she had brought a date to the party. If she herself wasn’t involved at the moment, Vera enjoyed seeing people she knew having a stable relationship, if not serious. Alla was still young, and she was quite the pretty little thing, therefore Veronika wasn’t surprised that she was accompanied that evening. The man next to her got up suddenly, and walked in Vera’s direction to greet her.

“Andrey Pavlovich?” Vera repeated after the girl, looking quite suspicious at her partner. For some reason, he seemed rather familiar, but the name was quite foreign to her. She hadn’t known any Andreys, but his appearance seemed to be very familiar, despite it not being the most common of Russian faces. He was also rather well built, which implied that he was within a line of work which had a significant amount of physical effort involved. For some reason, unknown to her yet, Veronika found herself wondering whether or not Alla was lying. Perhaps she was too suspicious of people in general, however, remembering her house mate’s reputation… that was it.

Veronika’s face suddenly turned two shades lighter, possibly now the young woman being at the whitest she had been during her entire life. “Alla…” She started in a whisper, her gaze slowly moving from the man, to her fellow Durmstrang alumna. “This is Sergey. Beater on the Drakonya Krov reserve team when I was a fifth year. Later on graduated, and became one of those Aurors who inspected our school.” Thankfully, or unfortunately, depending on one’s point of view, Vera was so shocked, she was only talking still in very low whispers. “He died. Appeared everywhere in the newspapers.” The former Klyk Vampira almost lectured the blonde on the ethics. “You probably knew him yourself!” She nodded in disapproval, not believing her eyes.

Her shock was huge, that was not to be doubted, however, Veronika couldn’t find it in her to talk louder, or think more reasonably, or even tell Alla that she should take the poor man’s corpse out of there. Biting her lower lip in half disbelief, half panic, Vera’s gaze fell again on Sergey’s figure. She was scared, a corpse was right next to her, looking as if he were still alive. Veronika definitely needed that bottle of vodka as soon as possible, hence why as soon as the bartender placed it in front of her, Vera grabbed it and started drinking out of it, almost all of it in just one gulp.

Horror was definitely not her genre.

Alla Chaikovskaya [ Durmstrang Adult ]
2000 Posts  •  21  •  played by Inga
Re: [Moscow - Nov 2001] Metalmen Matryoshka (Vera)
« Reply #4 on: December 31, 2017, 10:52:38 AM »
Veronika's reaction to her compliment on the dress made Alla smile. She had believed that a Quidditch player who was well built with no blemishes like the ones Alla had due to necromantic experiments would be fond of her body and would like to expose it in a revealing dress like the one Veronika wore. "Nah, it's really not that bad. I take it you didn't get to choose what you're wearing today?" Alla observed how Vera asked for more vodka and turned her gaze down to her so far untouched glass. Should she drink it at all?

Her train of thought was interrupted by Vera now complimenting her on her dress. "Why thank you," Alla said, her surprise clearly audible in her voice. She did not think that she looked pretty in that black dress. In fact, it was a dress she occasionally wore when she attended funerals just that she combined it in a different manner then. Black was always a good choice for almost every occasion except, maybe, weddings.

The thought that anybody could recognise the deceased young man she brought to the party had never really occurred to Alla. However, immediately when Veronika repeated the name she had offered, she felt that this might have been a very stupid idea in the end. She felt a shiver run down her spine as she became aware that she might thus lose the deal she was here for. Her parents would definitely be infinitely mad at her and what was worse, they'd be disappointed. Maybe, just maybe she could manoeuvre herself out of this predicament. Yet, for that she'd need to choose her words wisely which was hard given the hammering headache and the exhaustion that made her just think about resting now.

Her fear was confirmed only a split second later when she saw that Veronika suddenly paled recognisably. Alla wondered briefly if Veronika was now even paler than she was herself and as pale as the corpse that was still standing between them. The girl listened closely to Vera's whispers, relieved that she was talking quietly so that nobody else could overhear them. She glanced at the deceased man and tried to remember if she had seen him alive. She could not recall having seen him before but then again this didn't mean that he hadn't attended Durmstrang when she had been an underclassman.

"No," Alla said calmly. "You're mistaken. I see a certain similarity between the two of them but this is definitely Andrey Pavlovich." She didn't want to lie so bluntly but nothing else really came to her mind. Although she already felt close to fainting due to the exhaustion of keeping the corpse animated, the girl made him perk up, wave at someone further away from them and nod at them before turning on his heels and leaving the two girls alone. Alla watched him get swallowed by the mass of people but had to keep focused to guide him out of the hall and towards the bathroom. Hopefully nobody would take a proper look at him there.

Yet, controlling an animated corpse that was even out of sight was harder than Alla had expected. She could feel that there was something in the way, that he'd bumped into something. Maybe she had not steered him out of the hall at all? Had he missed the door? Walked into the wall? The young necromancer suddenly felt dizzy, she was breathing hard as she slid off the stool and made a tentative step away from the bar. "Ugh," she gasped, "I am quite unwell all of a sudden..." The world seemed to spinning fast now, making it impossible for Alla to go and search for the lost corpse. If he bumped into the wall and fell, people would hopefully assume that he only just died instead of guessing the truth.

Veronika Petrova [ Guest ]
Re: [Moscow - Nov 2001] Metalmen Matryoshka (Vera)
« Reply #5 on: April 16, 2018, 06:10:58 PM »
It wasn’t as if Veronika Nikolayevna herself wasn’t familiar with dark magic. In the end, Durmstrang was known for producing its own share of dark witches and wizards, and in the quidditch player’s opinion, they were more often than rare. She definitely considered Viktor Krum to be one of the very few exceptions from the rule. However, regardless of the extent of passion and work she had put into her own practices of dark magic, Veronika had never even conceived of performing a dangerous ritual in public. At a party. With media around. She compressed a sigh, instead gazing at the man next to them.

Despite the obviousness of the situation, Alla Artyomovna insisted that the moving corpse was Andrey Pavlovich and not the man whom Veronika had briefly known during his lifetime. It felt surreal – seeing a corpse next to her like that. Truthfully, while the slightly older witch had seen her a varied amount of dark magic, she hadn’t expected to see this kind of situation at one of her team’s parties. While the shock of seeing an inspirited, decomposing body in front of her still wouldn’t go away, Veronika turned her gaze towards the other Russian, her eyes narrowing ever slightly so suspiciously.

Did Alla Artyomovna really believe her to be that stupid? Now that was a stereotype she heavily disapproved of; Veronika was the perfect Russian: cultured, well-mannered and, above all, an intellectual. Her choosing to become a quidditch player had been only the influence of the events that occurred during her last year at Durmstrang. She definitely did not want to be part of the Ministry of Magic, which has basically harassed students all year long. It had affected her plans heavily, especially because becoming a professional quidditch player hadn’t even been part of her thoughts, until one of her dormitory mates suggested it.

She decided not to feel offended that Alla lied to her so bluntly. In the end, it was only natural that she wouldn’t be particularly open (more than she already was, anyway) of her ability, in addition to hiding the fact that she probably recurred to such means because she couldn’t find a date for this party. Or so Veronika suspected. The corpse turned around and started walking through the crowd, later on losing himself into it. Truthfully, what bothered Veronika Nikolayevna the most was the fact that there was, indeed, a dead person walking around freely at one of her team’s parties. What this could cause to the Metalmen’s reputation, to her own reputation, was simply horrifying.

“Of course you are unwell.” Veronika downed a shot of vodka, later on getting up herself and placing her right arm around Alla’s left, so the other witch could gain some stability. “Why don’t we head towards the powder room. Both of our make-ups could use some retouches.” She added on a louder tone, in case anyone else was listening, and encouraged the other Durmstrang graduate to walk beside her through the crowd. Slowly, yet steadily, so Alla wouldn’t get even more unwell.

“Honestly…” she added on a low whisper, so only the other witch could hear. “Quite bold of you to bring a dead man to one of my events.” Slight irritation could be noticed in the former Klyk Vampira’s voice. In the end, her own reputation was put at risk due to Alla’s endeavours. However, her intentions were noble, meaning that she did want to help the other witch and her corpse get away unnoticed, especially since that went hand-in-hand with maintaining her own image of an impeccable quidditch player, with no affiliations towards the more unorthodox areas of magic.

Alla Chaikovskaya [ Durmstrang Adult ]
2000 Posts  •  21  •  played by Inga
Re: [Moscow - Nov 2001] Metalmen Matryoshka (Vera)
« Reply #6 on: June 24, 2018, 07:02:10 PM »
It surprised Alla to hear Veronika Nikolayevna say that it was natural that she felt unwell. She had not expected any understanding from the other witch and so she was rather confused. However, she really felt too unwell to dwell on this now. Instead she just nodded when Veronika offered that they'd go and refresh their make up. It was a good idea, especially because she could go and find the corpse. Maybe she could hide him somewhere until she could finally go home.

Walking through the crowd, Alla felt shaky, even a little sick but she pulled herself together. This was neither the place nor the time to show weakness. She had got herself into this predicament on her own account and could be grateful that Veronika did not betray her to the security staff.

However, before she could thank the Quidditch start for he nicety, the older witch hissed at her that she found it bold that she had brought a dead man to her event. They kept walking and Alla took her time to reply, not because she wanted to provoke Veronika or anything along the lines of that. No, the young witch had to focus in order not to stumble over her own feet now.

“I'm sorry,” she whispered after they had already crossed half of the room. “I guess it was not a good idea, after all...” In fact, Alla felt rather embarrassed now. Why had she chosen the corpse instead of her faithful servant Burmin? The skeleton would have been a much better choice. Strangely a recently deceased man, a corpse in formal attire, seemed to put off people far more than an animated skeleton.

Although Alla's headache got worse and she felt sick, the thought that Burmin would have been appreciated more at this venue busied her. Was it because the skeleton always looked like he was smiling? Was it because he was not recognisable as the man he had once been? Or was she wrong with all of this?

She shook her head slightly, the hammering pain intensifying through the movement. There was no time now to think about the benefits of a skeleton in comparison to a common corpse now. She had to find the corpse before he got confiscated. As this thought occurred to her, Alla wondered what her boss would do to her if a corpse was missing right before his funeral. It would probably not end well for her.

Then she saw him, standing his face against the wall right next to the door leading into the corridor. People were giving him odd looks already, a man seemed to have decided to approach him to check what was going on. If possible Alla got even paler than before.

“Please, help me,” she begged, “pretend that he's alive. Talk to him and we'll walk out into the corridor with him. I'll make up for it somehow, I promise.”

She rubbed her aching forehead and focused on regaining full control over the corpse again, making him turn towards them and take a step away from the wall.

Veronika Petrova [ Guest ]
Re: [Moscow - Nov 2001] Metalmen Matryoshka (Vera)
« Reply #7 on: September 08, 2018, 08:54:35 PM »
For someone who had caused a complicated and scandalous situation on her own, Alla had quite the nerve. Of course, should she not have been bold, the younger witch would not have brought a corpse to a highly respectable sociable event. Truth be told, Veronika doubted that Alla was even thinking straight – dark magic had that effect on some people, mesmerising them so much with power, that it made them lose their minds. Clearly, if Alla had enough power as a necromancer to animate an entire human corpse, then she was drowning in dark magic. For a moment, Veronika wondered how Alla’s eyes weren’t red. Perhaps only her mind was suffering.

“No kidding.” She commented, resisting the urge to roll her eyes at her former house mate. Of course it wasn’t a good idea; who would bring a dead person at a party? Honestly, Veronika still couldn’t believe it, despite the fact that it was happening right in front of her, and was witnessing it all with her own eyes. It felt surreal. However, the fact that this entire mishap could affect her reputation, and the team’s, captured her mind completely. She glanced at Alla as the other one requested for help, and Veronika sighed. For a person who had just apologised, she sure knew how to ask for favours. Nonetheless, her own reputation was at risk.

Veronika simply nodded in approval, and her gazed moved from Alla towards the corpse. The other witch had managed to make him turn around, and a wide smile appeared on Veronika’s face as she approached him – the corpse of Sergey. “Andrey Pavlovich.” Veronika stated, letting out a laugh. “You’ve drunk too much, how about we go out for some fresh air. You can share with me some of those Cuban cigars you were talking about.”

For a moment, the quidditch player froze. She wasn’t keen on actually touching a necromanced cadaver. Nonetheless, Veronika had kept her demeanour and, after taking a deep breath, she wrapped her arm around the corpse’s, carefully leading him down the stairs, and on to the main hall. She didn’t look behind once, sure that Alla would follow. Nonetheless, Veronika hadn’t stopped in the corridor, as the other witch requested, taking in the end those extra steps, and going outside. Upon feeling the cool November air on her skin, Veronika released her grip from the corpse, and pushed him away. She didn’t look at him, didn't look for Alla, and instead took a deep breath.

Alla had gone too far. She was one step away from insanity. This level of dark magic was life-threatening. For her as well – this entire event was endangering her social status which, mind one, was more important than both Sergey and Alla’s own lives. “You…” She turned on her heel towards the grand entrance, where she’d expected to see her former house mate. “Are you not thinking clearly? Have you traded your own sanity for dark magic? Are you that power hungry to dive into foolishness?” Veronika couldn’t control herself anymore. Alla was lucky she wasn’t pulling out her wand.

“What were you thinking, bringing a cadaver as your date?!” And having me touch him? This was the worst night ever.


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