December 19, 2018, 03:14:44 AM

Author Topic:  [jan mp] deterioration of the fight or flight response [tag; val]  (Read 413 times)

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Hollister Graham [ Wampus ]
35 Posts  •  17  •  STRAIGHT  •  played by Katya
He sighed; a deep sound that relaxed the tension resting in his broad shoulders as his legs carried his lean from along the soft white blanket of snow. Ollie lifted his hand to push his hair back from his face as he moved along towards the small rink everyone had been flocking to and from since coming back to the school. It hadn’t been the best few weeks for the Wampus, and, if he could he would curl up in a quiet place and bask in his own sorrows and shift through his plots of vengeance.  It was strange to feel the way he felt even if he was only feeling it a short while. Ollie hadn’t been the type to share his feelings, to open up with anyone. It was an impossibility that he could be so vulnerable and come out the other side whole. He knew that loving another person would take pieces of him, small bits that he barely noticed but still changed him all the same. He had always wondered who he was. Not who he was seen as but who he was. At a point in his life he thought he was the Hollister that would recklessly love Valeria forever, he had thought.

Even after their moment in the library he was still bitter, still hurt down to his core. Her words had cut him deep and he knew that she hadn’t truly meant them, but, there was a part of him that knew she had. She could never admit it Ollie knew this. He understood that to tell him that she wanted to hurt him, had purposefully been so cold, would ruin them forever. Long fingered hand slide into the warm pockets of the jacket he wore as he came to a stop watching as a few kids skated along laughing and talking. Blue eyes drifted as he took in the joy around him. The smiling faces and hushed whispers mixed with giggles. He could remember when he had been so…carefree. He could remember the time before he was Ollie and had just been Hollister. It seemed the former version of himself was more the mask than his face now. It hid all the secrets and flaws and left a nice portrait to be looked upon. 

He watched as two kids built a snowman, its body dipping more to one side but still it was cute. He gave a slight chuckle and his head shook swaying his hair as he looked away and a hand rose to push his hair back. It had been hard at first, being back at the school, but as the days ticked away it was easier. He could breathe again – somewhat – and that eased some of the tension he held. Ollie’s heart felt heavy and in a way broken. He was healing from two devastating losses and each shook him differently. One had wrecked his mental, had sent his mind in a tailspin as he pushed through the lies in his mothers words to the truth. There was no love there and he knew that now. So, he could move on with his life. The other, the other had destroyed both his heart and his soul. It left him feeling empty – hollow – and Ollie thought he would never feel a fraction of whole again. His jaw flexed before it tightened as his own thoughts brought for the pain he thought he’d let go.

All black sneakers moved forward as he took the last few steps towards the ice and once more he paused before he looked down at the frozen water. He could relate in more ways than one with this solid surface. It hardened over time due to the conditions around it, as he had. He was tough because he had to be, seemingly unbreakable.  It had been walked over and cut into and Ollie felt that the women in his life had made sure he knew what that felt like too. Once more he sighed, running his hand over his face. What was he doing? He couldn’t pretend and he didn’t want to argue. He couldn’t hoid back this sudden rush of feelings and Ollie was more afraid of expressing them than he had ever been. The last time had led to something he never wanted to think about again, but, he would. He always did.

Slowly; his gaze rose and as if magnetized they landed on her and his jaw tightened. He loved her it had been said. He couldn’t rewind time to go back to take it back but that would mean he regretted telling her, no, he didn’t. He regretted not telling her sooner, sober and when they weren't mixing it with the harsh undertones of betrayal. His hand rose as a long finger lifted to call her over. He hated the winter. It was cold and wet and half the time the beautiful parts of it were worn down by footsteps and dirt. “You gone skate or you gone come over here wit’ me?” He frowned softly as his hand found the warmth of his pocket, “I ain’t getting on the ice.” Ollie looked down again and his head shook for affect, punctuating his statement. “I don’t walk on ice ain’t no way I’m ‘bout to pretend I can skate on it. I see you though out there all smooth and sh – stuff.” His throat cleared as the right edge of his lips rose in a smirk. “You lookin’ good out there though. You know what; give me another lap so I can admire you right this time.” He didn’t laugh but his brow rose.

He was trying. It was a start and all the strength he had was being used to ensure it.

[member=25367]Valeria Bianchi[/member] 
« Last Edit: March 23, 2018, 02:09:15 AM by Katya »

Valeria Bianchi [ Horned Serpent ]
37 Posts  •  SIXTEEN  •  BICURIOUS  •  played by Mel
Re: [jan mp] deterioration of the fight or flight response [tag; val]
« Reply #1 on: March 23, 2018, 06:46:00 AM »
The sixth year had woken up with a headache and no medication around to get rid of it. It had been a late night, as most of them had been, sneaking off with some of her more rebellious friends, up to no good as they normally were. While seeing Ollie and talking to him in the library had helped ease some of her emotional pain, it was still not enough. Valeria had done what she could to forget about her ex-boyfriend, well her ex-something considering they had never placed a title on their relationship. Her closest friends, a small group of girls she had been close to since the beginning of her time at Ilvermorny were the non-relationship type so after they had learned of her “breakup” with the boy she had been obsessing over for some time, they took the opportunity to remind her just the type of fun that could be had without a man around.

She wanted to stay in bed but had also promised a classmate that she would teach her how to ice skate. And while Val was not particularly pleasant in the mornings, more so because she was in pain, she did not want to break her promise, either. It would do her some good anyway. In her house, the skating rink was a family tradition. As soon as it was possible, her family went on weekly trips to the biggest rink they could find in Manhattan and skate around for hours. Valeria had taken classes as a child but learnt the most on her own; doing it the same way she lived her life: aiming high, falling, picking herself up, and doing it again. It was the way she had promised to face all challenges. And in some way, it was how she planned to get Ollie back. Her friend came by to pick her up early in the morning and as soon as her feet hit the ice, it was as if Val had been meant to be there all along. It was freeing and fun, the type of fun that may leave a few bruises but was nowhere as damaging compared to the types of things she was normally up to. And she planned to stay there as long as she could, giggling with her friend, whom had never been on ice before, at least until he showed up. And as soon as she noticed him, Val knew there was no going back.

Val had noticed him as he approached the skating ring, she had been helping her friend get off of the floor—the two sixth years a giggling mess as Val leaned down to pull her to her feet and send her on her way. Her friend tried to pull her down but years of experience and knowing that her friend would try that kept her grounded. When she straightened her back, she noticed him but quickly looked away. They were still not on the terms she wanted them to be. Val had expected him to complete forgive her and welcome her with open arms, now that she considered this it all seemed very wishful on her part. However, she had gotten some things off of her chest and that was enough for now. Where they took the relationship or lack thereof from there was entirely up to him. Valeria was not the type to openly beg him to return to her, even though it was what she wanted and part of her wondered if that would work. But she would not—Valeria already felt that admitting she was partly wrong was a stretch, she did not want to encourage further conversation on the subject, lest she have to apologize.

She skated around the rink one more time, keeping an eye on her friend as she showed her how to do a single half flip jump, landing a little shakily on her feet as she continued to glance in Ollie’s direction. She hoped that he did not notice her, not because she was not hoping that he would come over and talk to her—or better yet, get in the rink with her, at least that way she had an excuse for physical contact. Val did not want to admit it to his face because somehow it felt like she was letting him win and in fact, she wanted to make a point. It was not the fact that he had told her he loved her, it was in the manner in which he chose to reveal that—she felt confused by what he had said, felt like those words had just managed to slip out because he was hurting over his mother’s abandonment. She did not like to feel as if this was simply a revelation, Val wanted reassurance that he had felt this way for a long time because she had and even now, as she found herself skating closer to his general direction, somewhat unconsciously, she knew that she was still in love with him.

Valeria made eye contact with him and before she could look away he had called her over. It was an unnecessary gesture; Ollie could entice her to come to him by just that look—his blue eyes drawing her in like nothing else ever could. She skated over to him, taking her time to move closer, shifting her feet, “It’s a skating rink, I obviously came here to skate,” she responded rolling her eyes, a smile on her lips, “Come and skate,” she invited him almost immediately, moving closer to the edge of the rink, “Go over there, they’ve got some spare skates unless you got your own,” she teased pointing to a booth a few paces behind him. Her smile widened with his compliment, “I know I look good, so good you can’t even keep your eyes off me, right?” she bit her lip, moving a little closer, losing her balance and tripping forward, catching herself by gripping to his forearms, squeezing a little before straightening her back and letting go. “Get the skates, Ollie, I’ll teach you,” she turned to look for her friend who was still shaky but was skating along the rink just fine, “She’s never even been on ice before and look what she can do,” she said nodding in the girls direction, turning to grab his hand, “Come on, Ollie, don’t be a baby, I’m an excellent teacher, plus, this is a good excuse for you to put your hands on me, I know you want to,” she teased with a smile. She leaned closer to him, nodding in the direction of the booth, “Go on, I’ll wait for you.” 

Val would not give up on Ollie, never again.


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