September 22, 2018, 09:41:06 PM

Author Topic:  hide the beat of heavy hearts • • p h i l l i p  (Read 716 times)

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Phillip Donnelly [ Ravenclaw ]
89 Posts  •  16  •  .  •  played by Samm
Re: hide the beat of heavy hearts • • p h i l l i p
« Reply #15 on: July 01, 2018, 02:38:10 PM »
It felt strange to tell all of this to someone he had just met but at the same time it was comforting. Phillip didn't tell people he knew about it either, he didn't tell anyone, he just bore all of it alone which was clearly doing wonders for his anger management. It was probably a good thing that he was getting even just this little bit of it out into the open, regardless of who he was telling. And she was a good listener. Maybe that was it, she didn't interrupt or try to interject her own feelings like most people would. They were having a real conversation with equal back and forth. She spoke, he listened, he spoke, she listened, there was a refreshing rhythm to it he was unused to. She was totally right though and Phillip knew it. He had to get over it at some point but he wasn't like everyone else. His life was still in pieces years later and he couldn't put it back together if he couldn't even find the pieces in the first place. He wasn't going to just stop looking and anyone who expected him to had another thing coming.

"No I know..." He said after she'd finished, chewing on his lip again and nodding solemnly. This was why he rarely talked about any of this. People wanted to move on and he was still stuck in the past. It was selfish of him to try and drag them down with him. He hadn't meant to bring her into his troubles either. So much for being a hero. "I will find them one day, I'm not going to give up." It was his final comment on the conversation at least for now. He would look until the day it killed him if he had to. He owed his mother and sister that much at least. Maybe that was why he felt so comfortable talking to Billie. "You kind of remind me of my sister," A soft smile broke over his rough features as he reminisced. She always made him laugh even when she was being a little terror and he missed her. "Her name is Aoibheann, she'd be in your year." He had always looked forward to when his baby sister joined him at Hogwarts. Back then he still looked forward to things, he was hopeful for the future, not so much anymore. He couldn't remember if she ever even got her acceptance letter. Maybe it got sent to the old house by default but by then Phillip wasn't living there anymore.

He looked back over at her and shrugged his shoulders, deciding to change the subject. "So how come your not at the adoption thing in Hogsmeade? I guess they have unicorns." Honestly he was being sarcastic, figuring she had little time for frivolous things with a stack of books that big, but he still asked the question anyway.

Billie Fay [ Ravenclaw ]
156 Posts  •  FOURTEEN  •  <3  •  played by VANNAH
Re: hide the beat of heavy hearts • • p h i l l i p
« Reply #16 on: July 01, 2018, 05:10:06 PM »
Billie sighed again, exhaling a heavy breath and trying to exhale her feelings with it. The weight of the secrets she bore felt like it was trying to pull her downward. She really tried not to think about it in moments like this. She could compartmentalise her own feelings away too, she just had to try hard enough. The blonde bunched her hands into small fists in the material of her robes, then released them and smoothed the cloth down.

She attempted to distract herself by looking at her rescuer again, her sea-green eyes flicking down his face, over the bruise-stained skin of his cheek. "Oh?" she answered, not knowing whether reminding him of his sister was a good thing or a bad thing. After he smiled, she did too. Maybe they'd be friends, if she were here. Aoibheann, she thought, committing the name to memory. She could almost see it in his eyes; the imagined world where none of the bad things had happened. A world where his sister got to come to school and his family hadn't been torn apart. She followed along this imagined path with her own thoughts. Maybe Aoibheann would have been in her house too. Maybe she'd have met an entirely different Phillip; one who never made the expression the one in front of her was making.

She didn't want to interrupt again, so she waited for him to speak before she did. "I quite like unicorns," she said, smiling a little at the sarcasm in his tone. She was protesting a little bit. Well-natured teasing. The girl shook her head, glancing down at her hands again. "I already have an owl," she told him, "I have no need of another pet." It wasn't as if the whole ordeal didn't appeal to her. She had friends who were going to the adoption event; some of them had made quite a big deal out of it. "Sometimes I enjoy having the dorm to myself," she admitted shyly. "It's always so busy here, so I sometimes skip Hogsmeade weekends to read or simply enjoy the quiet. I grew up somewhere much calmer..." She trailed off, letting that sentence end itself.
« Last Edit: July 02, 2018, 01:28:59 AM by Billie Fay »
 
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Phillip Donnelly [ Ravenclaw ]
89 Posts  •  16  •  .  •  played by Samm
Re: hide the beat of heavy hearts • • p h i l l i p
« Reply #17 on: July 02, 2018, 12:37:39 AM »
Phillip rarely went to things like the adoption event and if he did it was because someone had managed to talk him into it. If left up to him he'd spent every free second somewhere quiet and alone with books scattered around him. After hearing what she had to say in response to his jest about the unicorns he nodded. It seemed maybe they had that in common because he completely understood where she was coming from. The common room was great when it was empty, it was much better that way. Their common room was one of the calmer ones but sometimes even the Ravenclaw's got a bit too loud for his liking. After nodded about what she had said he sat forward again, arms resting on his knees and hangs swaying freely between.

"Yeah I get that." He confessed to her, feeling the same way about the crowds and the bustle. He often wished there were less students around all the time or better yet that he wasn't stuck at Hogwarts anymore. He had very little faith in the educational institute anymore and the ministry in general so he would of been the first in line if they offered early graduation for over crowding. Of course he was never that lucky.

Shifting a little he turned toward the stack of books between them and pointed at them with a soft smile. "Would you like me to help you get these back to the common room so you can start your reading?" He asked and strangely found himself hoping she would allow him to carry the books for her. It was a simple gesture, a friendly one, but it was warming and unlike him and he liked the way that it made him feel. Protecting her from bullies was something else entirely but it had been a long time since Phillip had wanted to go out of his way just to keep the company of a friend. And a new friend at that. He waited a moment before scooping up the hefty pile of text and waiting for her to join him.

Idly he asked her more about herself as they walked, finding himself actually curious for the answers. "So where did you grow up at?"

Billie Fay [ Ravenclaw ]
156 Posts  •  FOURTEEN  •  <3  •  played by VANNAH
Re: hide the beat of heavy hearts • • p h i l l i p
« Reply #18 on: July 02, 2018, 01:21:52 AM »
When he said that he got it, Billie truly felt that he meant it. Feeling that no more words were required on the topic, Billie simply nodded.

Phillip offered to help her with her books and for a moment she couldn't hide her surprise. Her eyes widened slightly. A part of her wanted to ask him what he'd been doing before he'd taken a punch for her - she didn't want to be an inconvenience, after all - but another part of her didn't want to question it. She smiled and nodded again, allowing him to scoop up the pile before she got to her feet elegantly and fell into step beside him as they began walking. "Thank you," she said again, a little bashful but trying not to let it show. It was difficult for her to pinpoint why exactly this small gesture made her feel so light and happy. Perhaps he was appealing to some kind of deep-rooted appreciation for old-fashioned chivalry. Perhaps it was uncommon for people around her to be so sweet. She wasn't sure.

Billie didn't really like talking about herself. It wasn't entirely due to the uncomfortable way she'd had to recraft her past, either. She didn't like talking about her wants and desires or her fears or anything. She much preferred to talk about the people she was with, and fade quietly and demurely into the background. "Do you know where Maidstone is?" She asked instead, turning her large eyes towards him before glancing away again. The girl had been asked these sorts of questions a hundred times, and she knew the right words to say. By now it wasn't so difficult to turn off the voice in her head that reminded her that these words weren't entirely true. Sometimes she even believed the lies she had to tell. "Sort of between there and Canterbury," she told him, "I live with my aunt." Ethelinda was quite like an aunt. According to their actual tree, she was Billie's second-removed-something-someone's-grandmother. It was complicated. "Not all that interesting," she added softly. The past few years had done a lot to shape her; being untruthful hadn't come naturally to the girl at first. "How about yourself?" she asked, trying to gently turn the conversation away from herself.

 
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Phillip Donnelly [ Ravenclaw ]
89 Posts  •  16  •  .  •  played by Samm
Re: hide the beat of heavy hearts • • p h i l l i p
« Reply #19 on: July 02, 2018, 02:35:56 AM »
Carrying her books gave him purpose and it was comforting. He used to be so comfortable around other people, so easy going, and the first to crack a joke but that was so long ago it felt like those memories actually belonged to someone else. Sometimes he day dreamed about what life could of been like if the war had never happened. He would of been a good big brother to his sister when she started Hogwarts. He would of shown her all of the wondrous things the school at to offer. Maybe he would of tried out for the Quidditch team too. Most of all he imagined that he never would know what it felt like to be this alone. Being here with Billie reminded him that maybe he didn't have to face the world on his own. It was his own fault he didn't really have many friends. He had pulled away from them, not the other way around.

As they headed toward the common room he listened to her tell him about where she had grown up and he tried to picture what it might of been like for her. He couldn't help but imagine some kind of small cottage, maybe near a stream or forest, someplace quiet with window seats and nooks perfect for hiding away and spending an afternoon reading in peace. In his mind it was a beautiful place but honestly he'd never been to Maidstone so he was probably totally wrong. When she mentioned she lived with her aunt a red flag went off in his head. Like any child who had lost a parent he was acutely inclined to gravitate toward others who shared his pain. It was a coping mechanism, even if he didn't know it. "Your aunt?" He posed the question, leaving the door open for her to go into more detail if she had wanted to. The last thing he intended was to make her uncomfortable by the question. He of all people knew how hard it was to talk about things like that, if something similar had happened to her that is.

They rounded the corner and the portrait guarding their common room was in sight as she asked about his upbringing and all he could do was shrug at first. "My family lived in Northern Ireland, Lairn to be exact." He told her with a bit of pride he'd almost forgotten he still held. He was an Irishman true and true and nothing could strip him of that. Not even the fact that he currently resided in Scotland. "After everything that happened though I bounced around a lot. I live with.... well I guess you could call him an uncle?" Phillip found it amusing now but when he'd first been claimed by the strange man who said he was family he found it far less than funny. "He's a care taker of Keithcairn, its some old estate in Scotland so I stay there during the summer." In a way he felt closer to her because they shared similar living arrangements. The details were surely different but at the end of the story they both lived with relatives and not their parents. "I hated it at first but it's really not so bad. There's a really old library and some of the books are pretty beat up but I'm working on reading what I can."

"Were you born in Maidstone or did you move there?" He pried slightly as they reached the door and the portrait began to move about in front of them, waiting for the password.

Billie Fay [ Ravenclaw ]
156 Posts  •  FOURTEEN  •  <3  •  played by VANNAH
Re: hide the beat of heavy hearts • • p h i l l i p
« Reply #20 on: July 02, 2018, 03:03:23 AM »
Even though she could clearly hear the Irish lilt in his voice, Billie had forgotten to specify where exactly Mainstone and Canterbury were. Her England-centric view of the UK (and her UK-centric view of Europe) was something that she was trying to work on. Sometimes, when imagining the intertwining of magical theory and physics, she had the ability to think big, but other times she forgot that the world was much larger than her own experience. The girl chastised herself internally. "Yes," she replied, a little confused - or perhaps acting a little confused - about why he might zero in on that detail. Once again, there was a sinking feeling somewhere in her chest that she quickly compartmentalised away. It was obvious that he was curious about her situation with her aunt, but she wasn't really a big talker.

The teenager was a fair bit shorter than her new companion and she had to walk quickly to keep up with him. He didn't seem to notice and she definitely wasn't going to point it out. As they ascended many stairs up to the top of Ravenclaw tower, Billie was pleased when he started speaking about himself. Honestly, she was a touch out of breath. She listened to his story with interest, actively repeating the details in her mind as he said them. She really didn't want to forget any of it - even the little details. After the way he'd treated her, and how kind he'd been it would feel rude to not pay attention to what he was saying. She at least owed him an attentive ear.

I guess you could call him an uncle?

That sounded familiar, she thought. Billie hadn't even heard of Aunt Ethelinda before she was arriving on the woman's doorstep, suitcase by her side. The woman had to be at least a hundred and fifty, far out of the age range of a regular aunt. "Oh," Billie said, clearly impressed at the mention of a library. She raised her eyebrows a little as she imagined what it might be like. The pair came to a stop outside the common room entrance. Ah. More questions. "I was born in Cornwall," she lied easily. She'd actually been born a while out of Lilienthal, in Germany. The blonde tucked some loose curls behind one ear, meeting his gaze with honest eyes as if the words she spoke were all true. She was well practiced.

"How large is the library?" she asked curiously, "And how old?" Clearly books were a shared interest. She wondered what else he was passionate about. What other things made him up, aside from the weighty one they'd briefly touched upon minutes ago. A part of her felt like she could listen to him talk about himself all day and she wondered if that was a normal response to the short interaction they'd had.
 
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Phillip Donnelly [ Ravenclaw ]
89 Posts  •  16  •  .  •  played by Samm
Re: hide the beat of heavy hearts • • p h i l l i p
« Reply #21 on: July 02, 2018, 03:24:55 AM »
The back and forth rhythm of their conversation was soothing in it's own way and even though he wouldn't admit it he kind of enjoyed it. He liked learning things about her and he liked that she seemed interested in hearing his story too. For a moment he forgot that he was depressed and angry at everyone. For a moment he just kind of dived into the conversation with Billie and it was like a weight being lifted off of his shoulders. "Cornwall I know." He said about the English county. He hadn't been to many places outside of Ireland but that happened to be one of them. He vaguely remembered a day trip he'd taken with his father to the coastal town some years ago. He remembered a little shop they had gone to with seashells hanging in the window but not much else. The mind was funny that way, recalling strange pieces of information. He felt like he could tell she didn't want to keep talking about her upbringing but that only served to make him more curious about it. He wanted to push further and ask more questions but he respected her privacy and chose to bite his tongue for now. Maybe she'd tell him more details in the future, if he was lucky.

"Its massive." He said, the two of them instantly falling into a topic they clearly shared interest in. Phillip had hated his first few weeks at Keithcairn. It was weird, uncomfortable, and in some cases entirely unsafe but from the moment he had stumbled upon the dilapidated library his opinions had started to shift. The estate clearly used to be something grand, something worth talking about, but it had been lost to history long ago. Sometimes he wondered why his uncle Angus even bothered with the lost cause. "I mean, not like the library here or anything but there are just rows of bookshelves." He grew excited about the library, wanting to share it with her. "The building is kind of falling apart though so its hard to get to some of them." He shrugged his shoulders. "You can kind of feel how old the books are though, like their magic. Does that make sense?" He wondered if he sounded as crazy as he thought he did. The old books and tomes had a power all their own and it was tangible. He could feel it in the air, the humming of their magic beating through old leather spines. He wondered if she would understand what he meant. He hoped.

"It kind of reminds me of the restricted section." He confessed. Everyone knew the restricted section of Hogwarts library held the strongest of books. The ones they were barely allowed to know about. Sometimes he wondered if it was actually a kind of vault for magical books, not necessarily meant for the students but meant as a safe storage place. Hogwarts had all kinds of secrets he would never know so it wasn't that far fetched. "Have you ever checked out a book from there?"

Billie Fay [ Ravenclaw ]
156 Posts  •  FOURTEEN  •  <3  •  played by VANNAH
Re: hide the beat of heavy hearts • • p h i l l i p
« Reply #22 on: July 02, 2018, 03:40:13 AM »
"Oh, is it?" she asked, smiling a little at the way he spoke. Billie felt a flutter in response to his enthusiasm and for a moment she wondered what would have happened if he hadn't turned up earlier and saved her. She didn't even want to think about it; this was far too nice, far too enjoyable, to imagine things having gone another way. Of course, the still-open-though-no-longer-bleeding wound on his face served to remind her that it was somewhat selfish to be pleased at the turn of events. Her gaze flicked away from his momentarily to look at the small wound. "Yes, it does," she said. Billie imagined an old building, cobwebs gathered in corners in between crevasses. Columns creaking under the weight of old stone. Of course, it probably looked nothing like it did in her head, but that was what she saw when he described it. She was pleased he'd stopped asking her about her family.

"No I haven't," she told him, a spark of curiosity evident in her large eyes. "As far as I knew, underclassmen weren't given permission to check books out from the restricted section." She opened her mouth to say something else but abruptly stopped when the common room door swung open beside her. Billie had been busy talking and listening and had all but forgotten that the pair were standing outside the room they'd intended to go in. The upperclassman girl who'd opened the door gave them a withering get-out-of-the-way look and Billie stepped back submissively, dropping her gaze for a moment and allowing her to pass.

Once she'd passed, though, Billie caught the door before it swung shut. Giving her new friend a tentative smile, the girl opened the door further and stepped through, waiting patiently for him to follow. "I'm very curious about what you've checked out from the restricted section?" she said, ending the sentence as if it were a question. She wasn't bold enough to ask outright. The common room was pleasantly warm, and - even more pleasantly - empty. Billie felt like they were the only people in the whole castle; the only sound in here was the crackling fire and their voices. The young witch took a few steps in and leaned against the arm of one of the plush couches, unsure as to whether she should take a seat with him or if he was perhaps going to leave now that they'd reached their destination.
 
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Phillip Donnelly [ Ravenclaw ]
89 Posts  •  16  •  .  •  played by Samm
Re: hide the beat of heavy hearts • • p h i l l i p
« Reply #23 on: July 03, 2018, 02:19:43 AM »
Phillip breathed a small sigh of relief when the portrait shaped door to the common room creaked open and saved him from admitting he was a fool for asking the question about the restricted section. He had forgotten that younger students were not permitted and felt a bit like a jerk for bringing it up. Of course he hadn't been bragging, just trying to keep the conversation going, which was so obviously not something he was typically accustomed to doing. Normally Phillip would have run the first chance he had to escape a chit-chat. He hated small talk, hated the idle quips and comments about the weather, but this didn't even feel like that. It felt like they were talking about real things that didn't suck and that was definitely an improvement.

As soon as the door swung open Phillip was on defense again. Back straightening and face hardening like an armor he was all to used to wearing Phillip prepared for whoever was coming out of the room. He hadn't noticed until then but he'd let his guard down some in her company. She put him at ease but the older witch coming out of the Common Room snapped him right back to his old self. He held his chin up and starred at her as she exited the room, the look she gave Billie making his fists curl up around the edges of the books he was carrying for her. He thought twice about saying something, not particularly interested in picking fights with a girl who hadn't really done anything wrong, and then followed Billie into the common room.

"Here okay?" He asked, craning his head to look at her as he motioned to an empty side table near the big sofas. The books weren't particularly heavy but after a while they started to gain on him and he'd be lying if he said his arms weren't getting a bit tired. After she asked what book he had checked out he felt a surge of enthusiasm returning but almost didn't recognize it. He found himself eager to show her the book and return to the topic they had been discussing earlier. Dimensional magic with the specific purpose of finding his family had basically been his every second of every day for longer than was healthy. It was nice to have someone to share it with. Perhaps the fact that she was basically a stranger, an younger student with no shared classes or friends that he knew of, made it easier to discuss all of this with. Maybe she would think he was crazy but if that was the case he could just go right back to being unsocial and minding his own business. He hoped that wouldn't be the case though.

Shrugging off his shoulder bag Lip moved past her to sit at the furthest cushion on the sofa she was leaning up against, leaving the middle cushion and the one closest to her open. He plopped the bag down on the middle of the sofa and unfolded the lid before retrieving the book. "I've only gotten through the first two chapters so far so it's not like there are any spells or instructions but its still a pretty interesting read." He began as he held the book out for her to inspect. The cover was bound in typically old pressed leather, this one was cracked and breaking down like it had been treated hastily. The leather itself was tinted a greenish sort of color and the binding was frayed. The golden ink the title was once made out of had long since smeared bled away but the title and credits could still be made out from the etched grooves. "It chronicles Warewyk Ramesheye's travels into what he claimed was another dimension in 1647." Phillip shrugged, honestly he was pretty sure it was a bunch of crap but he had to check every source he could find. He was quickly running out of places to look. Cynical as ever the Ravenclaw frowned a little, it sounded even less believable when he said it out loud to her.

"He was most likely just high on magic mushrooms though..."
« Last Edit: July 03, 2018, 02:20:06 AM by Samm »

Billie Fay [ Ravenclaw ]
156 Posts  •  FOURTEEN  •  <3  •  played by VANNAH
Re: hide the beat of heavy hearts • • p h i l l i p
« Reply #24 on: July 03, 2018, 03:45:02 AM »
"Yes, thank you so much," she said, thanking him once more. For his chivalry, probably. And just the general way he'd treated her. For noticing her? Maybe that too. Billie didn't really consciously process all of this, it sort of happened under the surface as she watched him place her little pile of books down on the wooden table. Her heart skipped a beat as he moved past her towards the other end of the couch. Was he going to say goodbye, she wondered? Go off and do whatever it was that he'd been doing before their paths had become entangled? She didn't realise she was waiting for an answer to these questions until he was relaxing into the couch near her and she was covertly brushing her sweaty palms against her robes as she moved to take a seat across from him on the couch. She was strangely aware of exactly where and how he was sitting. To face him, the girl curled into the couch, tucking her legs to one side as elegantly as was manageable.

Not really understanding his comment about mushrooms, the blonde simply nodded in response. She was doing that a lot at the moment, she realised. Just nodding rather than speaking. She was clearly much more of a listener than a talker, but that didn't seem to bother him like it sometimes bothered some of her other friends. Billie had never been a talkative girl - even when she was Sybil - and it was even more difficult to navigate topics like the war, or things where she felt out of her depth, like certain areas of magical theory. Phillip was a prefect, and older than her, so she thought he probably knew a lot more than she did. For some reason, though, the boy seemed interested in conversing with her. She would truly loathe to be a disappointment to him. "Don't you think it would be in a different, more accessible section if it was completely rubbish?" she asked curiously, watching him carefully from across the couch. The girl played with a pale blonde curl absentmindedly.
 
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Phillip Donnelly [ Ravenclaw ]
89 Posts  •  16  •  .  •  played by Samm
Re: hide the beat of heavy hearts • • p h i l l i p
« Reply #25 on: July 05, 2018, 02:04:50 AM »
As much as Phillip wanted to believe that all of the answers he'd been searching for were locked inside of the book before them he was far to realistic to get his hopes up. He'd been there, and been let down before, and he would never let it happen again. More times than not he found himself with more questions than answers at the end of books like this one. Maybe it would shed some light on something but it almost always opened some new corridor of thought and a handful of questions too. Still, any information was better than none and so he kept pushing forward. Phillip was a mix of skepticism and never ending stubbornness, he wouldn't give up, but he didn't expect to find what he was looking for soon. Settling into the cushions behind him he got comfortable, one leg bent on the cushion in front of him and the other dangling off the edge of the sofa, foot on the floor.

"I'll bet you're right."

He couldn't help but admit that she had a fair point. He didn't know exactly how useful the book would be but the mere fact that some adult somewhere had decided that it's contents should not be easily accessible to children could only mean good things right? There had to be something inside worth learning. The whole conversation had fueled his enthusiasm for the pursuit and he found himself looking forward to getting a chance to sit down and really devour the book. Of course he had no plans on doing that soon, he was enjoying the conversation with Billie too much to leave now. Unfortunately he was running out of things to talk to her about and beginning to scramble for topics. She was easy to talk to, it wasn't that he was bored or nervous, but he just didn't have a lot of things going on to talk about. He hated school, hated most of his classmates, didn't think the Ministry was worth their wands, barely paid attention in class, and didn't really have friends or a social life. It left him with very little conversational topics.

Instead of trying to attempt some kind of ill-fated small talk and make a fool of himself Phillip stuck to what he knew.  "I'll let you know how it turns out, after I've read it, if you want? Or you could borrow it afterward, I won't tell anyone." Maybe she would find something in the book he might miss. She had a different outlook on life, it made him want to ask her opinion about things. He never asked other people about their thoughts, it never occurred to him to do so until now, but he wanted to ask her all about hers.

Billie Fay [ Ravenclaw ]
156 Posts  •  FOURTEEN  •  <3  •  played by VANNAH
Re: hide the beat of heavy hearts • • p h i l l i p
« Reply #26 on: July 05, 2018, 03:28:18 AM »
She blinked, surprised once again but attempting to project more confidence than she felt. "I'd like that," she said softly, a gentle and genuine smile gracing her features. Billie wasn't really one to break rules, but her loyalties only tended towards authority by default, not with any sort of absoluteness. How could something be wrong when proposed by someone who'd shown her such kindness? Her thoughts followed this path momentarily, imagining the people in her life who mattered most and what she'd do for them. It was an easy answer; anything. If Gaius asked her to smuggle something in or out of azkaban or deliver information or leave a door unlocked or anything, she'd do it. Without question. Her unwavering loyalty and absolute revulsion at the idea of disappointing those she loved could have her drive herself into the ground if need be. She'd do anything for Kendrick too - he'd looked after her through the actual worst days of her life. She'd give everything to make him happy.

Best not to think about the two of them at the same time.

There was an alarming edge to the boy in front of her. Phillip didn't behave like someone who was fifteen or sixteen. He didn't act like someone who had friends and knew how to socialise and what to say. It wasn't that he wasn't confident - in fact he seemed a little overconfident in some ways - but his wounds had clearly hardened into some kind of armour and his dreams and hope had been twisted into something best described as, well, obsessive. Of course, Billie couldn't describe it so succinctly, but she certainly felt the aftershocks of the monumental trauma that had shaken him so badly, years ago. If she'd learned anything in the past few years, it was that trauma and hurt like that didn't really fade away. Instead, its echoes could be felt forward through time - forever. From her rather unique perspective, his behaviour wasn't off-putting or alarming in the slightest. She felt drawn to him, pain and all. Perhaps she was being naive - not that she'd know it - but something about him made her want to talk. Want to try. Want to help.

Could someone like him end up as someone on her list? She'd known him, properly known him, for less than an hour. But something told her yes. Basil had, and they'd only spoken through letters. Billie had a big heart, and she already felt like a part of her really cared about Phillip. It was confusing for the teenager. And definitely sort of silly. But she couldn't help how she felt. "Thank you for today, Phillip," Billie said again, the words spilling out easily. If he let her, she could gush her thanks all day. The blonde got the feeling that he wasn't the kind of person who accepted thanks very easily, though, so she made a conscious effort to tone it down. "I really just..." The blonde trailed off, her large oceany eyes distracted by the book placed neatly between them. "Was it doing that before?" she asked warily. Some of the letters - handwritten in back ink - had started to glow. just faintly, but she could see it. Sort of opalescent pulsing. Billie sat up a little straighter, instinctively moving back a little in her seat. 
 
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Phillip Donnelly [ Ravenclaw ]
89 Posts  •  16  •  .  •  played by Samm
Re: hide the beat of heavy hearts • • p h i l l i p
« Reply #27 on: July 07, 2018, 02:30:40 AM »
It was strange to want to share this book with her, with anyone really. Phillip had spent so much time pulling away from people that he'd forgotten what it felt like to not be on his own. He'd forgotten the joy of sharing something with a friend. He wouldn't admit it but fear had kept him from connecting with others for years now. Lucky they hadn't given up on him all together the young wizard kept the few friends he still had at an arms length, afraid to let them back in. The fear of possibly losing something had kept him from having anything for so long he barely even knew what he was missing. Until he met Billie. She had a way of pulling him out from behind his hard exterior shell even in the very short amount of time they had known one another. When she smiled he felt the corners of his mouth turning upward as well. He planned to read the book as fast as he could now, just to bring it to her that much faster and have a reason to speak to her again soon. Even stranger was the feeling of looking forward to something.

When she began to thank him for the day he shrugged his shoulders again. He was either unable to or unwilling to take her gratitude because he hadn't felt like he'd done much. He did what he always had when there was injustice, his courage was one of his few redeeming qualities. Phillip was always getting into fights but at least today it seemed to be worth it. He'd gotten so much more than a bruised face today and it was certainly worth the effort. "Don't worry about it." He'd of loved to be able to say he was just doing what anyone would do but he knew that wasn't true. The world was cruel but mostly it was just ignorant and blind. Most people didn't help others or stick up for others simply because they didn't notice the need for it. Everyone was so wrapped up in their own worlds, so self absorbed, that most things flew right over their heads. Phillip remembered being a child sitting in a cold hallway of the Ministry waiting for someone to tell him where his parents were for what felt like days. A lost, confused, child crying alone while countless adults passed by reading their newspapers or answering mail without even seeing him. Phillip made a promise to himself to never be like them and today he kept that promise.

Wanting to tell her again that he didn't mind it Phillip opened his mouth but soon it closed slowly as his eyes began to widen. He leaned away from the book instinctively as it began to come to life. "No it was not..." He said, enthralled by the beating humming sound coming from deep within it's pages. As the text glowed and fluctuated the beating sound grew more rapid like it was building to something. It grew exponentially so until Phillip realized something was about to happen and whether it was good or bad it didn't matter. Instead of waiting to find out he moved abruptly to nudge the book off of the sofa and then kick it across the room. It slid with not much speed to the middle of the room, maybe ten feet from where they were standing, in between the pair and the portrait doorway. It pulsed and throbbed and grew louder for a moment, the beating so heavy the whole book was vibrating and shifting on the floor.

And then it stopped.

Phillip sat silently for a moment, eyes slowly moving from the book and over to Billie to check to make sure she was alright. Cautiously he rose from the sofa and took two steps toward the book, enough to peer over at it from a safe distance. Without warning it sprung back to life, flopping open abruptly and glowing from within. The lanterns around the room began to flicker, the fire grew dim, and the light from the book became the brightest source in the common room. Startled Phillip swore under his breath and backed up toward Billie, eyes glued to what was happening before them. Amidst the glowing light dark symbols began to rise from the book. The symbols were inky black like they had been hand written long ago and just waiting for someone to release them. "Is that..." He tilted his head, enchanted by what he was seeing and stepped forward, "Billie does that look like arithmetic to you?" He turned to look back at her for a moment before taking another step toward the book, bringing him dangerously close to it's magic. He was staring into it and the symbols floating around were more than just simple math there were also magical designs in the mix. It was all connected but it was strange to see them written together, of course it was even stranger to see them floating from their pages. "But... there are runes in here too." He told her before something occurred to him.

"Is this a spell?"
« Last Edit: July 07, 2018, 02:33:09 AM by Samm »

Billie Fay [ Ravenclaw ]
156 Posts  •  FOURTEEN  •  <3  •  played by VANNAH
Re: hide the beat of heavy hearts • • p h i l l i p
« Reply #28 on: July 16, 2018, 05:03:57 AM »
Don't worry about it. He was so nonchalant about it, and so abrupt in his dismissal that she wasn't completely sure he wouldn't grow irritated with her if she continued to praise him. Even after the past few years it was still strange, sometimes, when her peers behaved in certain ways. Billie wasn't particularly reserved with her friends. Not in every way, at least. Sometimes she could be quite expressive with her feelings. Still, the witch had grown up learning a certain set of social rules that simply didn't apply anymore and sometimes it was strange for her. She would never have dismissed a thanks, for example.

Billie froze as her eyes fell on the magical object between them. She should get up, she thought. She should leave. The blonde shrunk back in her seat, her back pressed up against the arm of the couch. When she was little her father had showed her many magical objects. Lots of old things, too, quite like this. She knew to be wary when something unexpected happened. After he kicked the book across the room her wide eyes were glued to it. "We should get someone," she said, not really sure who she meant. A prefect? No, he already was a prefect. Head of house, perhaps. She didn't get up when he did, but rather stayed seated in the safety of the couch, ready to spring up and run at any moment. It was a slight relief when he stood; he inadvertently put himself between her and the object and it made her feel a little safer.

It did look like numbers to her. There were words, too though. "It's germanic," she said, surprising herself as she spoke. Aunt Ethel had hired a linguistics tutor and a German language tutor for her during the break and she met with the latter once every six weeks or so on Hogsmeade weekends to go over her studies. She remembered hoping that she'd one day be able to converse with Gaius in the language native to the country she'd been born in. Of course, no one here knew she'd been born in Germany. He couldn't know either. "I think," she added in a small voice at the end. The blonde wanted to specify; it wasn't west germanic, but looked more Scandinavian to her - so, north? She was only freshly studying this area of knowledge and really couldn't speak with much authority, but she desperately wanted to go back a second and correct herself. Then again, there was something alarming happening right in front of her and she really should be focussing on that rather than on verbal mistakes, and he was right there, stepping closer and closer...

"Phillip, wait," she said, unable to help herself. Suddenly the girl found herself a mere step behind him, on her feet, one hand touching the crook of his elbow lightly. She wanted to pull him back a bit. Tell him to get out of here. Billie withdrew her hand. "It looks like it," she said, concerned. She didn't know. Spell? Hex? Charm? They were all different, but she hadn't seen anything like this before. "Be careful," she told him, moving a little closer but staying behind him. Please.
 
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Phillip Donnelly [ Ravenclaw ]
89 Posts  •  16  •  .  •  played by Samm
Re: hide the beat of heavy hearts • • p h i l l i p
« Reply #29 on: July 18, 2018, 02:15:00 AM »
He disagreed with her completely when she mentioned that they should get someone. That was not even the last resort option in Phillip's mind, it didn't exsist as an option at all. He had tried to rely on adults before and been utterly let down and he'd never line himself up for that kind of betrayal again. Nope, whatever it was he would do it alone, he could figure this out. He didn't need anyone especially not the kind of lousy adult who would reprimand for not participating in class and then scold him for being too curious in the same breath. Shifting his weight a little he pivoted away from the book and it's magic but didn't move any further back.

The letters glowed fiercely and danced across his eyes. It was hypnotic. She said it was Germanic but he was barely able to hear it over the thumping sounds drowning in his ears. He couldn't tell if the beating was coming from the book or from deep within him but it scared him. He pretended it didn't but he wasn't stupid, clearly something was off about this book and clearly it was building to something.

"It's okay." He said, realizing how close she was suddenly as her slight touch of his elbow broke him from the trance. Before them the book was trembling, the tips of it's pages rustling in a breeze that didn't exist inside of the common room. He turned to look behind him and down at her seriously, fully intending to investigate the book. He understood magic came with risks, it was dangerous, but he didn't care he was willing to pay the price. He would sell his soul to save his family, he would do anything. He would sacrifice everything he had if it meant bringing them back even just for a little while. The frightening book was just another step toward that goal and he was willing to risk it.... until he saw her face.

He'd put himself in harm's way for his mission but he wouldn't put her in danger. He couldn't. Looking back at the book he stepped forward quickly and shut it as fast as his hands could move. It was still thumping but the sounds were lessening, the spell it seemed was weaker when the book was closed. The glowing started to fade but his heart beat was far from slowing down. Turning once more to face her by putting his body in the way of the book Phillip spoke softly. "Billie, you should probably go. I'll figure out what to do with the book." He knew he should probably return it but he also knew that was never going to happen until he had read it cover to cover twice.

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